The day I died

It’s August now, only one more month to school. My old pain and sorrow for leaving my elementary school is fresher than ever. I feel lost and sick that I know that I will not be going back to my dearest school with my friends on 29^th August. I will probably cry my eyes out on that day.

I might be able to see them before they get on the school bus even if I have to wake up early in the morning. I would have to wake up early anyway, I need to go to orientation that day, and I need to report to my new school at 9:00 in the morning and my school’s at Jordan, Kowloon. I feel so damn jealous and heartbroken to see my friends go back to the school I love without me. And me, going to some strange place I’ve never been in my life. My friends say that I’m the craziest daredevil EVER. But I doubt I can take on this horrible dare from growing up.

I can’t imagine life without my buddies. No one are as amazing and awesome as them, no one are as caring and cold hearted at the same time as them. No one will ever know me as well as they do. They are the light of my life, the only reason why I didn’t give up on school when my grades were shit. The only reason why I didn’t kill myself when my parents became devils and went berserk. The only reason why I stood there and took on vicious scolding and beating without breaking down and literally tearing myself apart.

My friends are loyal. They will never, ever give up on me either. I know how much they’ve given up for me, how much they stood up for me and was insulted so much by boys. And the most horrible boys will never give up on anyone. They too will never throw anyone overboard or refuse to help anyone in need, even if it were the girlish goody ones. My friends are so loyal; they’d give up a project that cost their grade to help a friend to catch up on schoolwork. I don’t think anyone I will meet would do that, I know that they would bear to all have a D for their final grade to help someone get an A. I know that for a fact.

In secondary, the only way to talk with them is by Skype or Facebook. The times that I can see them in person are in summer, Christmas Fair and breaks. But those are way too little compared to what we had before. We spent so much time together; our presence still lies next to each other. Just on the school bus, me, Yatlai and Teri, my besties, had chatted for over 8000 minutes!! And there won’t be another chance for that, ever again.

I don’t think anyone will be friends with me in my secondary school. They’ll think I’m too odd and different. I know because I’ve talked to them. I don’t fit in. I don’t think like them. I don’t act like them.

Besides, there won’t be any fun. There won’t be any boys to tease and joke around endlessly; there won’t be anyone to split the boredom in a history class. It’s not just the boys; it’s the girls too. There won’t be any more school spirit the way we show them. Our way is unique, no one can match us. No one will have layers of face paint on them during sports day or swim meet. Nor will there be cheerleaders screaming their hearts out. There probably won’t be any teacher walking teary-eyed out of the school gates for the last time carrying a huge board scribbled with messages and decorated so beautifully using old Christmas decorations and scrap paper.

August 29^th, the day my precious school opens and when my friends will move on up to the same secondary school, that will be the day I die. Or at least a lot of my heart will die. To never reawake, to never feel so loved and cared by my friends as they are part of my family. Bound by memories, but not blood. They are such a big part in my life; I doubt I can mend that gap that widens everyday when I do not see them.