Open Book

During my trip, I've had 3 nights in a row of strange dreams. I think I'm losing myself inside, I don't know if it's just some stirring in my sub-consciousness. Or maybe I'm thinking too much? But the freakiest thing is that these dreams are continuous, like I'm watching a TV drama. The person in the dream is called Tim. Yes, it's the SAME Tim from an old post.

1st night:
I'm running, crying at the same time. I arrive at this school, half dead with exhaustion. Everything's a blur of red, blue and white. The lady at the counter says Tim has left for Hong Kong already. I remember he sings, I search for choirs and I find his name in the DBS book. But he's gone. I cry in despair. I find another lead, I glimpse him but he's gone like the wind. I was so close to finding him! No! I cannot fail. I must not let the trail go cold. I search for him again and find his mentor. He's there! Yes, I can see him! But he's so far away. I call his name but he doesn't look my way. He walks away, I pursue him but he's too fast.

2nd night:
I'm at a conference. Still searching for Tim. I see him right next to me in a suit with a purple and red tie. He's getting up from the sofa, I yell his name. Yes! He looks in my direction. I grab his hand. A million questions run through my mind but all I say is, "You're here." We're running now, laughing. I ask him all my questions but he doesn't answer. Why? He's got something to hide? We arrive to this church, we're late for something. Tim is getting scolded. He recites something while crying, everybody is quiet and I stand up, smiling.

3rd night:
We're talking in a restaurant, remembering good times. I say Blockbuster and it turns into a stage. Tim is standing next to me, smirking, "I told you I can make anything happen." We see his sister in a blue dress. She's laughing and smiling. We talk but when I turn my head, Tim is gone! No! Where did he go? I whirl around and see him walking in a sea of people. I try to get to him but people just keep getting in my way. I cry his name but he doesn't seem to hear me and disappears.

Every night, after I wake up, i have a sudden urge to find Tim in real life. I want to ask him questions. Where is he? How is he? I need to hear him, talk to him, see him, to remind myself he is not just a fragment of my imagination. But I think I can find him, I have a gut feeling that in the short time we met, he has been dropping me hints. If I follow the leads, I think I can find him. But I can't remember clearly how was it. And I can't help feeling that I have failed him. Maybe I should talk to Vicky because I share these secrets with her. Not with anyone but her.