i started school, not going well. i hate it. i don't care what the older girls say about it being a real spirited school and other crap. i was forced to do all kinds of stupid things, i'm not a christian. although i respect them, i don't want to sing hymns and say prayers all day long. even jose says that and she's a Christian. i am just sick of hearing that God will help me and if I believed in him, he would make my life better. well, been there, done that. i still ended up at this crappy school.
i just can't get used to it. i really loved my previous school. i really do. but its a major change. i don't know if i can handle it. i feel sick to my stomach.
i cry every night in the shower, before i fall asleep, when i'm doing homework... i can't be happy. i think i'm in depression. i've heard stories, i think i'm changing into one of them. maybe i'll end up with severe depression, no one can see my pain behind my smile. i hate it...
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