Some things are haunting me for a long time now and I really want to get them off my chest. I will say the things that have been pushed to the back of my mind but have always been surfacing. I’ve always wanted to say these things out loud.
P.S. If you don’t care, don’t read.
Please don’t try to guess who I’m saying this to. Even if you do, please don’t tell anyone.
Because some secrets are best left buried in the heart.
Person(s) No. 1
“I’m sorry for all the pain and discomfort I’ve caused you. I’m sorry I put all the blame on you when it should have been me. I’m really sorry I even said anything, did anything. I broke the promise. I deserve to be dissed to your heart’s content. I messed up, I made everything chaos, I created this whole mess. I’m sorry. I admit I’m reckless and I go shooting my mouth off before my brain can catch up. I’m sorry. I ask you for forgiveness. I ask you to let it drop. I ask you to be my friend again. Please? And please understand that I didn’t have an easy time either, I was verbally bullied, insulted and thought of as a bitch. I wanted to cry right there but I knew I had to stay strong. I cannot act like a 3 year old.”
Person(s) No. 2
“What did I ever do to you? I said I’m sorry. Tell me what I did wrong, please. I’m begging you. I’m sorry, then. Please, accept me again.”
Person(s) No.3
“I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused you. I’m sorry that you had to stand up in class or even stand outside. I’m sorry.”
Person(s) No.5
“I’ve always wanted to be like you. To be awesome. To be the middle of everyone’s attention. To be the most well known one amongst others. To have so many friends, to be so loved. But I guess that dream will never happen. I’m just a nobody. I’m not cool, awesome, sporty, tall, creative or have those unique features that makes a person popular.”
Person(s) No.6
“Don’t say you’re in depression when you’re not. I don’t see you cutting. I don’t see you crying in front of others. I don’t see you’re grades dropping because you’re sad. I don’t see you losing sleep. You’ve already gotten an amazing family, loyal friends (some) and the best school in the world. Me? I probably only have one of the above. So cherish it and don’t lie/exaggerate. You don’t know how depression really is.”
Person(s) No.7
“We have much more in common that I thought. We like the same things, we have the same fear, I think we even feel things the same. Trust me, if I didn’t change schools, I think we would have been good friends.”
Person(s) No.9
“Who was there for you when you were homesick? Who slept in your dorm when you were sad? Who bailed you countless times for Chinese Kaocha? You’re not even grateful. You only say thanks and move on. So when something’s fun happening, the first person that you want to share it with isn’t me, is it? It’s someone else who’s cooler, sportier… Basically better than me. But haven’t you seen the one who’s really helping you? We’ve been friends for a long time yet you don’t count me in.
I can’t believe you.”
Person(s) No.10
“I think you’re avoiding me. Is anything wrong? Am I too obnoxious? Have I done anything wrong? Are we growing apart? What’s going on? I message you on Skype but you log off immediately. I comment on statuses and I end a perfectly good convo. I guess I’m socially awkward, I can’t talk with others.”
Person(s) No.11
“I might be nerdy. I might not be the most popular person in the grade but do you have to diss me so much? I have never done anything wrong to you except for once on Facebook but nothing more! I hate it when you say it’s for personal pleasure. Other people have feelings, you know. They could jump off a building because of teasing/insulting. They can write a suicide note, saying you made them die. They can be closely related to important people so please don’t be like me, shooting you mouth off before your brain can catch up. You’ll regret it like I do.”
Person No.12
"You were my most serious crush, ever. It would take me 50 minutes to say what happened to me mentally. But I want you to know that I will never forget you and I hope you'll never will either. Take care and keep in touch, 'kay?"
Person No.12
"You were my most serious crush, ever. It would take me 50 minutes to say what happened to me mentally. But I want you to know that I will never forget you and I hope you'll never will either. Take care and keep in touch, 'kay?"
So from the above, you can see I lie too often. I lie to others. Eventually, I lie to myself. I wrap myself in a fantasy, the real world is way opposite from my imagination. I can’t take reality.
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