Confundo

Hey! :)

I was quite pleased with morning assembly today, Senior Mixed Choir performed today on stage. They were seriously good. And something freaky happened in one of the girls' toilet today. So there I was washing my hands at the sink and next to the sink, there was a dark blue tie. A DBS tie in the girls' toilet. My mind is thinking of things that I shouldn't... :P

Anyways, I bloody need to go to the stupid RTHK workshop and competition in two weeks time so I won't be able to keep blogging for a bit and if I have time, I'll work on the brand new Lily and James fanfic. I've wrote 200+ pages but I still need to edit, delete and revise it so I think it'll take a while. So just bear with me for the next 2-3 weeks! :)

Bye! :)

The Draught of Living Death

Hi everyone! :) I've haven't posted about myself for quite a while now since I spend so much of my time on James and Lily but it was totally worth it.

So last Sunday (18th) I got my new headphones at HMV! It's Toshiba and you can fold it up into a size of your palm and it's completely white. I wanted to get Beats but it was way over budget. -.- Then I also bought Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Yay!

Then on Wednesday, the Junior Mixed Choir sang in assembly. (JMC is DGS and DBS singing together) Then the headmaster of DBS who was also the conductor said, "Diocesan Girls' and Diocesan Boys have a very special friendship. We work together and learn from each other, there have even been DGS girls marrying DBS boys." Or somewhere along the lines of that. It freaked me out. And that was probably the only "special" thing that happened over the two weeks...

Does anyone remember how I fell on the plaza in P4? Vicky? Well, I blacked out as I fell. See, I was hit in front of the girls' toilet next to the General Office but when I woke up, I was in front of the Boys' toilet right in front of the turtle pond. So I would've rolled across the Plaza when I was unconscious. I remember faintly in that time of darkness, it was so quiet and peaceful. I wanted to stay in that darkness forever. And I saw something, a glowing small dot in front of me. I peered into it and I saw something. I saw my life in a millisecond. I know I saw something. I saw that I was going to DGS and I saw something white, like a dress and something else... But I don't know, I couldn't catch all of it. It was too fast. But now, I remember the first snippet was in DGS so I'm sure it was my life fast forwarded. If only I could see it again, I'd know what will happen to me.

Author's Note

Did you enjoy James and Lily? (: I hope you did! Just so you know, I worked super hard on it, sleeping at midnight to finish it because someone’s bugging me at school to post more! Tee-hee.

After re-reading my works many times, I kind of wish I had played up the arrogant part in James a bit more. So keep waiting for one-shots! (One-shots are just short stories about James and Lily, the super long one that I just wrote was practically a novel…ßYes, it was 40+ pages of hard work!) But I think it’s quite good for a first-timer! (:

I really love writing about James and Lily, they’re so cute and romantic together. And their relationship is so complicated. The troublemaker falls head over heels for the goody-goody and the best friend gets in the way. There're loads of twists and turns... But then it all boils down to one point: Lily loves James and James loves Lily.  

And over the course of writing, I’ve begun to have a special feeling for James and Lily. Their relationship was so happy yet so short, such a shame. So every time they mention Lily or James in the HP series, I smile oh-so tenderly. I’ll really miss them, it’s like losing a friend, one you know so well (well…because you created them) yet their actions take you by surprise (I had never planned for James to take Lily for a ride on his Nimbus!). 

I PROMISE to write one-shots. Pinky promise! Maybe once a month? I've been inspired quite a lot and this super long fanfic is actually a summary of Lily/James relationship. I've actually left out some crucial information here and there so there are definitely one-shots coming up. I don’t want to write about Harry’s children because it’s kind of boring. Lily and James were much more interesting! (:  

So tips to budding authors (like me!) out there:

1.     Read, like, A LOT! There aren’t that many references to James and Lily in the HP series so I had to find information on them on Wiki and get inspiration from more…covert sources like HPfanfiction.com and Fanfiction.com. There are seriously some gifted people there, they really should write their own book! And read more because you can pick up a lot of good writing techniques and beautiful word pictures. Then, I also had to rummage through my books for clues and hints about them.

2.     See if everything runs smoothly. Some of the scenes in the fanfic were particularly hard to write so I had to re-read everything and I acted it out in the shower, I tried to feel how the characters would and their movements. The duel between James and Snivelly, I acted it out in the shower and I think I yelled “Sectumsempra” a bit too loud and my mom knocked on the door, asking me what was going on. :P

3.     Work hard and don’t give up. I put a lot of effort into this fanfic, sleeping at midnight for two whole weeks, reading works on Fanfiction and typing it out on my Mac. This didn’t spring up overnight, okay? So you need loads of determination. I had writers’ block a couple of times in the middle but I smoothed it out…eventually.

4.     Brainstorm, edit and delete. I advise you to get a Writers’ notebook to write down your ideas when it suddenly comes to you in a flash or something special. I have two, one for class and one for my own Emblems. Write everything you can think of, there is never a wrong answer and you can write a few chapters on it when you don’t have access to you Word doc or something. I wrote Lily’s nightmare on the bus and the beginning in the backstage when I was waiting for my cue in a play. Re-read everything, as much as you can and see if there’s anything you don’t think is necessary or not suitable or, even better, add something to it! (: Delete because some things just don’t work out. Yes, it’s excruciating pain when your finger is on the backspace button but for the sake of your readers and the quality of the chapters, you have to do it. I had written down at least six pages in my Writers’ Notebook only for James’s pranks, four pages didn’t make it. Ophelia gave me this great idea about James and Lily’s date but I couldn’t fit it in and I didn’t think it was necessary. But I might find some time to write about it for a one-shot!

5.     SURPRISE! :D Make sure you have loads of twists and turns, it grabs the reader. We all knew James and Lily were going to end up together but the process is really nerve-wrecking and I was just running around in the my little universe, desperately finding ways to create James and Lily. 

I wrote something like this backstage but most of it didn't make it to the final version. I'll try to showcase it here but not guaranteed. 

Just searching and searching and searching for James and Lily. 

A thousand words

I found some pictures of James and Lily. The Author's Note post is going to come out soon and some fluffy one-shots might be based on these pics. Stay tuned! :)

P.S. You might have to enlarge you screen for a bit to see some clearly but I'm telling you, it's really worth it to see some of the pics.

James's "what in the bloody hell just happened?" expression. Hands running through hair, one eyebrow lifted and his mouth in a frown. And Lily's all "You should know all about it."

^Amazing

^Definition of epic. They didn't win any Oscars though, they should have. Bloody Muggles...

Everything...

Told you the Golden Trio was and is perfect.

Ahh, James...

You can totally expect a fanfic for this one! :) It's like the sweetest fan art yet! 

Harry Potter is Oscar-less. Such stupidity. Why doesn't Harry Potter deserve an Oscar? The best-selling franchise in the history of the world? The movies that made my childhood magical? But of course, there is no category for "The movie that changed tens of thousands of kids and adult's lives." #AccioOscars 

I was inspired by this one.

And this one for the Library Kiss but mine's wasn't as intense. ^this one is a bit inappropriate though...

The Marauders. From "Snape's Worst Memories." -Order of the Phoenix.

Sirius taking his O.W.L.s

^See why Hogwarts is awesome?

Conclusion: We are the Potter Generation.

Harry seeing James taking his O.W.L.s

Godric's Hollow

Lily remembered this street well as she walked between the grey, two story houses. There was an old sign hanging crookedly beside a lamppost, “Spinner’s End.”

She came to the last house on Spinner’s End and knocked the door. A familiar face greeted her.

“Lily?” Severus greeted her, his eyes flashing with surprise and something else.

“Hey, Sev,” Lily said quietly. It was a long time since they last spoke.

“Come on in,” Sev stood out of the way as Lily walked into the sitting room. It was the same room five years ago when she visited.

“You can sit at your usual spot,” Sev grinned, pointing at the padded leather armchair in the same corner.

“No thanks, Sev,” Lily said as she stood in the middle of the room, “I’m in a hurry and I wanted to give you this.” Lily took a white envelope made of heavy paper out of her handbag.

“Try to come,” she said softly. “If you don’t, I understand.” Sev looked at the envelope to the ring on Lily’s left hand.

“Oh, that’s great,” Sev said, he was a bit out of breath. The news hadn’t sunk in yet.

“Bye, Sev. I hope to see you there. I’ll show myself out,” then Lily gave a small smile at Sev before walking out of the door.

Once Lily left, Sev collapsed into Lily’s ‘usual chair’. The chair she usually sat in when she came over to have tea while his drunken father as out. They would chat for hours, sipping tea and eating biscuits his mother made. It would put Sev in a good mood for the rest of the week.

It was the same time for tea but Lily hadn’t even sat down or even took a bite out of her favorite snack. Instead, she had handed Sev a white envelope. With shaking hands he opened it and read it.

“To our beloved friends, it is out great pleasure to invite you to the wedding of James Potter and Lily Evans…”

Sev couldn’t read further down the invitation and he dropped it on the floor. His eyes were full with tears as he buried his head in his hands. He knew this day was coming; James and Lily were finally together.

Lily, his former best friend, with the bane of his existence, James Potter. Sev knew his feelings for Lily weren’t just friends or siblings. He knew he liked Lily very much but he was afraid to admit it, he was afraid he would scare her away. So he secretly enjoyed every “Good morning, Sev” and every single moment spent with Lily. But he had in the end, singlehandedly destroyed it. He hated himself every breath he took. 

Her green eyes would never look at him anymore but for Potter’s. No one but Potter.  

Sev didn’t want to believe it. He looked at the letter on the floor then rested his head in the armchair.

In the end, he didn’t go to the wedding. He knew there would be some unpleasant tension if he showed up. Potter would probably hex or jinx him in front of everyone and it would tear it apart. But most importantly, he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to control himself and just ruin everything. What he wanted most dearly was for Lily to just live happily every after with her James Potter and he knew James would take care of his new Mrs. Potter. Nothing else mattered.

But little did Sev know that when Lily was walking down the aisle towards James, she was searching with the corner of her eyes to see if Sev was there. But he wasn’t and Lily felt horribly guilty. It upset her until she said, “I do.” And she knew that nothing mattered to her but James Potter.

     

“I told you Harry will like it,” James smirked as one-year-old Harry Potter played with a brand new miniature Quaffle in his crib, gurgling happily as he batted at it. Lily folded her arms across her chest and huffed playfully at James, “Yes, James, I know that very well. But now it’s bedtime for Harry.”

James whined as Lily took the Quaffle away from Harry and put it on the shelf in Harry’s tiny room. “You sound more disappointed than him,” Lily laughed as she laid a soft blanket over their toddler.

“It’s for practice, Lily,” James replied cheekily as he flicked off the light. He held Lily’s hand and led her downstairs to the sitting room. “You know, when we can leave Godric’s Hollow and go back to our home in Cornwall, Harry will have loads of space to practice his Quidditch skills. I could even train him to be a Seeker, like me!”

“And he could play in the Gryffindor Quidditch Team as well,” Lily played along with James as they curled up together on the couch, gazing affectionately at each other.

“Mm, and he will meet a wonderful girl and take her on a ride on his Nimbus under the moon and kiss her like this,” James smiled at Lily and leaned in for a kiss. But Lily was already on step ahead of him and had thrown her arms around James’s neck and pulled him close. Lily breathed in James’s comforting scent and she felt his arms around her waist and lower back. Everything was perfect.

Suddenly, there was a loud banging on the door.

James sighed as he broke away from Lily, “It’s probably Padfoot, he probably forgot to get his key for his house.” James stood up and flashed a grin at Lily and opened the door.

But it was not Sirius Black that greeted them at the door. But a black figure with red slits for eyes, snowy white skin and flowing black robes that clung to his bony figure.

“Why, hello. James,” the intruder said in a high voice. James didn’t move, “Lily! Take Harry and go!” He clenched his jaw and looked at Voldemort in the eye. He stood firmly between Lily as she rushed up to Harry’s bedroom.

“Very brave, James Potter. Very brave indeed,” Voldemort sneered. “But I’m afraid no protection will save you tonight.” He raised his wand and pointed it at James. James reached for his but he remembered that he had left it in Harry’s room. But he wasn’t scared, if James had to die, it would be for Lily.

“You may be able to kill us, Voldemort,” James growled. “But you won’t be able to kill the Order of the Phoenix or Hogwarts.”

Voldemort cackled, “Well said, Potter. Well said. But I’m afraid it’s too late.”

James stood up straighter, as if to shield Lily more.

“Avada Kadavra!” Voldemort yelled. A flash of green and James Potter and fallen backwards, his eyes still remained defiant, his jaw remained clenched and his back still remained straight. Voldemort stepped over his body.  

JAMES! Lily couldn’t say anything. James was gone.

Nothing… No more…

She stumbled towards Harry’s room in a daze and slammed the door shut hoping to buy a few more precious seconds.

She replayed the last few seconds of James in her mind.

He was kissing her and smiling, talking about their future after they came out of hiding. But it was gone. James was dead on the floor. Straight backed, just like how he sat confidently on his Nimbus 1800. He kissed her like how they had kissed under the moon. But that was gone as well. He smiled at her like he had just pulled a really good prank. Lily remembered all his jokes and pranks and all the times he had asked her out. But those were all memories now.

Lily fell to her knees and remembered how James had proposed to her in front of the Order. It probably was the happiest moment of her entire life. Or maybe when she had said “I do” to James and he had kissed her at the altar. But that was gone too.      

James only lived inside her and her memories with him seemed to grow a shade lighter as if the death of the person who shared it had taken away part of them.

Lily looked up and saw her eyes…no, Harry’s eyes staring back at her. Lily was wrong. James did live on. He lived on in her dear Harry James Potter. Lily could see Harry’s life stretching on in front of him. He would look exactly like James, Lily thought tenderly, and he’ll have my eyes. Eyes that James loves.

Some things are worth dying for, Lily. James’s words came back to her. It gave Lily strength.

Lily dragged herself to Harry’s crib where he sat, looking at his mother.

“Harry, your father’s dead,” Lily sobbed but this time, there was no James’s shoulder to lean on. “But he died an honorable death. He died protecting us. Remember him, Harry. Remember him. Harry, be strong!”

And all hell broke loose.

The door burst open and Voldemort was at the door, his wand poised.

“NO!” Lily screamed and threw herself in front of Harry, the only part of James left.

“Avada Kadavra!” Voldemort roared. The Killing Curse hit Lily square in the chest and she crumpled to the floor as darkness crashed over her like a wave.

But it wasn’t ordinary darkness like falling asleep but soft, comfortable darkness. Just like how James’s arms felt. And sure enough, Lily was with James. He was smiling down at her, his hazel eyes with golden flecks staring lovingly down at her behind his horn-rimmed glasses. His black hair was a mess and he had a goofy, dimpled smirk on his face.

“James,” Lily buried her face into his chest and James held her tightly, “Lily.”

Lily! Sev Apparated in front of the Potter’s temporary home. Please don’t let them be hurt! Even James Potter! Not caring if any Muggles saw him, Sev tore through the front door of the Potter’s home. The sitting room was a mess, the furniture was over turned and lamps were smashed. He saw James Potter’s body, his brown eyes staring lifelessly upwards. James is dead? As much as Sev hated James, he didn’t want him to die. But if James is dead, he might have fought the Dark Lord and Lily could have escaped! A small flicker of hope appeared in Sev’s heart.

He raced up the stairs but he was greeted with more havoc. He already knew the answer. Lily Potter had not survived. His knees buckled and he crashed against the wall. Please, NO!

He forced himself to make his way down the hall and followed his instinct and found himself in a child’s room. The toys were strewn all over the floor and the body of Lily Potter lay motionlessly next to a crib.

Like James, he beautiful emerald eyes were staring sightlessly upwards. Sev let out a cry and fell to the floor beside Lily. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug, rocking her back and forth.

Tears streamed down his cheeks and his tears landed on Lily’s waterfall of red hair. He shook his head and buried his face into Lily’s hair for the first and last time. He tried to catch a slight trace of her warm, flowery scent but a cold and hard body replaced it.

 Lily was gone. The only girl and friend he loved and cared about was gone. Forever.

Some time later, Sev heard someone coming in the house. He recognized the familiar voice of Dumbledore and Hagrid. Sev stood up and started to Apparate out but the second before he left, he caught a sight of a baby sitting in the crib, looking at Lily with familiar green eyes.

10 years later…

“Welcome back to Hogwarts!” Dumbledore stood cheerfully at the teachers’ table in the Great Hall. “Welcome to all first years…”

But Sev wasn’t listening, he was ‘interrogating’ Quirrel. He had noticed Quirrel acting strangely and knew something was wrong with him.

“What are you hiding?” Sev hissed.

“N-n-nothing!” Quirrel stuttered but his eyes were telling another story.

“You’d better tell me the truth, Quirrel. You don’t want me as your enemy,” Sev leaned in more closely and he faintly heard Dumbledore mentioning something about First Years. Sev did an automatic calculation in his head: Lily’s son was going to be at Hogwarts for the first time.

Sev ran his eyes over the Gryffindor table and he saw James Potter sitting there.

No. That young boy wasn’t James Potter. He had Lily’s eyes and he was staring straight at Sev.

For the first time in 10 years, Sev saw Lily Evans’ eyes staring back at him again. 

The Order of the Phoenix

“Uh… Um… Evans?” Lily heard a stammering voice next to her ear as she was studying in the library. She looked up to see Peter Pettigrew standing over her. His lower lip was trembling like he was about to cry. Lily spotted a scrap of parchment in his twitching hands, folding and turning it over and over as if he didn’t know how to hold the piece of parchment.

“Yes?” Lily raised an eyebrow.

Pettigrew took a couple of deep breaths before her blurted out, “James-asked-me-to-give-you-this!” He shoved the parchment under Lily’s nose and dashed away out of the library. Is it just me or is Pettigrew getting more mousier by the year? Lily thought to herself as she unfolded the note. “Lily, meet me at the Quidditch Pitch after practice at 8.30pm. James.” Lily grimaced, James only knew too well that Lily detested Quidditch. Especially when she hated James for being such a show-off as a Seeker. But she decided to go anyways, her Transfiguration was done and it was 8.00, just enough time to get to the Pitch.

“Hey, Lils!” Mary Macdonald flew to where Lily sat on the spectator stands, waiting for the practice to finish. Mary was dressed in her scarlet Quidditch robes and was sporting a Cleansweep 7. “I didn’t know you liked to watch us practice.”

“I don’t,” Lily replied grudgingly. “James asked me to come find him.”

Mary smirked, “I see.” But the knowing twinkle in her eyes said, “I hope there’s snogging.”

Suddenly, a red blur was hurtling towards them. Lily vaguely recognized it as a Quaffle and squealed with terror. Mary, on the other hand, was amused with Lily’s reaction and swooped calmly into the path of the Quaffle and caught it neatly with both hands. She then lobbed it expertly to the goal hoops that were miles away and the Quaffle soared nicely into the circle.

“Ten points to Gryffindor!” Mary laughed, mimicking the commentaries.

“That was brilliant,” Lily breathed. “You must be the best on the team!” 

“Nah, it was only a simple drill,” Mary blushed. “Sometimes, Captain James Potter makes it next to impossible and he’s the best on the team, catches the Snitch in 10 minutes one time. Fastest record in Hogwarts’ History, we made the House Cup that year.”

“Where is he anyways?” Lily craned her head and tried to find his familiar unkempt black hair bobbing in the indigo sky.

“You won’t find him up here,” Mary said softly. “He’s on the ground.” Lily saw James as a tiny dot, running around the bottom of the pitch, yelling orders and drills at his players. “I’d go down there now if I were you, we’re just finishing up here.”

“Good, Wormy gave you my message in time,” James greeted her with his dimpled grin as Lily walked onto the sandy bottom of the pitch. “Took Moony and I a whole hour to persuade him.” The evening was quiet now, the players had already left and they were the only two people left.

“So why did you ask me to come?” Lily sighed, getting directly to the point.

“You sound like I brought you here against your own will,” James said humorously, picking up his Nimbus 1800 from the sandy ground and dusting the grains off.

“James, I am perfectly capable of hexing the answer from your mouth,” Lily said dryly.

“Ooh, is that a threat?” James smirked, leaning against his Nimbus.

“James,” Lily put her hand inside her wand pocket.  

“Well, after your parents’ died,” James started shakily, staring intently into her eyes. “ You’re so strange now. You barely speak to your friends at meals, you hardly return to the dorm or the common room because you’re spending all you time in the Heads’ Room and you’re either paying too much attention in class or none at all! You’re not you.”

Lily stared at him for a moment. Okay, maybe Lily did spend too much time in the Heads’ Room crying but she was drowning in misery everyday. She couldn’t take it anymore when her friends talked to her, she was afraid she would lose them like Tuney. She was trying to forget about everything by throwing herself into every lecture in class but her concentration would slip away and Mum and Dad would appear in her mind again.

Lily huffed and crossed her arms, her voice was now raw and cold with sorrow, “Well, James Potter. If you invited me here to talk about them, then I’m going to bed.” She spun around before James could see the fresh tears well up in her eyes. Why did he have to bring it up again? She was making a huge effort to stop grieving but tonight, he had made her remember them.

Just before she could storm off the pitch, James grabbed her hand, “Sorry, I just wanted to cheer you up.”

“Cheer me up?” Lily asked incredulously. “What do you mea—” She looked at the smile on James’s face then back to his shiny Nimbus.

“Don’t tell me I’m going to get on that…thing!” Lily cried.

“You hurt his feelings, Lily,” James sounded offended, patting his broom affectionately.

“I really don’t like flying,” Lily protested.

“You haven’t tried,” James persuaded.

“I have in First Year, I made a complete fool of myself,” Lily muttered darkly. She was the first person to fall off the broom before it had even lifted a feet off the ground. Snivelly had also fallen purposely with her so she wouldn’t feel that embarrassed. James was also there but he, with extraordinary talent on the broomstick, had hovered high in the air, sitting straight backed and proud with his three other friends also around him but not as confident.  

“I’ll help you,” James shrugged and took her arm. “Trust me, you’ll feel better.” Lily stepped uncertainly towards the hovering broomstick and mounted it slowly.

“Potter, if you let me fall, I’ll jinx you into oblivion,” Lily growled.

“You’re not even off the ground yet and we’re back to last name terms already with jinxing threats, Evans?” James chuckled sitting behind her. How could James be having so much fun? She was already feeling off-balance and was terrified she would break her leg or something.

“My Arresto Momentum spell is nearly perfected, Lily. No worries,” and before she knew it, James had already kicked off the ground.

Lily shrieked, “Let me off!” James didn’t seem to hear her and sped around the pitch, the spectator stands a blur of the four house colors. The wind was whipping through her hair and was biting into her bones.  

“Not so fast,” Lily pleaded. James finally slowed down to what he thought was a rather sluggish pace but Lily was finding it just perfect.

“Okay, I’m letting you steer it now,” James instructed.

“Excuse me?” Lily had no sense of steering broomsticks.

“Just remember the flying lessons in First Year but you don’t have to kick or turn so hard because it’s a Nimbus, not a old school broom.” Lily saw no difference between a ‘shiny, new Nimbus 1800’ and ‘a old school’s broom’ but to avoid a detailed lecture, Lily focused more on flying and could feel James lightening his grip on the broom. Lily gulped and squeezed the broom with her fingertips, remembering his advice.

Sure enough, the broom could feel her very touch and before she knew it, Lily was speeding up and going higher with every moment. But most importantly, she was laughing. She hadn’t laughed in weeks. Her heart was light as a feather now, as though she had left all her worries on the Quidditch pitch. She was in the night sky with no boundaries, no nothing. Only her and James under the slivery, crescent moon.

“Let me take you a bit higher,” James whispered, taking back control of the broomstick. They shot upwards until Lily thought she could touch the moon.

“It’s beautiful,” Lily breathed.

“Divine,” James agreed. “Like you.” He twisted his head to give her a deep kiss on the lips. He cupped her face with his warm, callused hands and tilted her face upwards. Lily was caught by surprise but she closed her eyes and loved every moment of it. She remembered how Alex had kissed her under the oak tree, Alex’s kiss was more of push in the relationship (well, if you could even call it a relationship), pushing for more actually but James’s kiss was so right and so natural. It was so full of passion and need but Alex’s was more of a fling.

James kissed her like he had all the time in the world. He kissed her like she was the only girl he knew. Moreover, he kissed her like they would die tomorrow. James suddenly broke away laughing but Lily was feeling more amazed than annoyed.

“Yes?” Lily had to control herself to hide her smile.

“Made you laugh,” James gave her a playful smirk. “Come on, it’s nearly curfew. Let’s go back.”   

“Thanks, James,” Lily murmured and leaned back on his shoulder as they swooped back to the pitch.

“Expecto Patronum,” Lily commanded. A thin, barely visible wisp of silvery smoke snaked out of her wand and disappeared quickly. Lily frowned, where was her usual swan Patronus?

“Expecto Patronum!” Lily said more fiercely, focusing on her happy memory of her family reunited. A thicker wisp appeared but it was nothing, compared to her usual Patronus spell. Why can’t I do a Patronus charm anymore? Lily thought desperately. It’s our N.E.W.T.S. final in a week and I’m sure I need a Patronus to pass the practical! But that wasn’t the only thing that was bothering Lily. Maybe there’s a problem with the memory itself. Mum and Dad are gone, Tuney’s left and I’m barely around anymore… No… Lily was close to tears again and a lump formed in her throat.

She closed her eyes and cast the picture of her mother, father and sister, all sitting on the living room couch, just talking about everyday things. But the realistic part of Lily came bursting in and slowly, her parents faded away. Her sister stormed out of the scene and only Lily was left. Alone…cold…

Lily snapped open her eyes. I’ve got to stop thinking about that.

“I knew I’d find you up here,” James’s velvety voice sounded behind her.

“Of course, you saw me with your marauders’ map,” Lily retorted.

“Nope, I found you myself,” James said as he hugged her from behind and gave her a peck on the cheek. Lily loved being in James’s arms. It made her feel safe and contented. It made her think that everything’s okay. “Moony and Padfoot took the map for some harmless pranking for Professor Slughorn.”

“You should’ve stopped them,” Lily tuned around in James’s arms and pretended to shake her head disapprovingly.

“Innocent when proven guilty, Head Girl,” James laughed softly. “There’s always a chance that Sluggy’s skin won’t be dark green tomorrow morning.”

“Right,” Lily replied sarcastically.

“Anyways,” James raised an eyebrow at her wand. “Working on charms tonight?”

Lily sighed dejectedly, “Yeah but I’ve lost my Patronus.”

“It’s a swan, isn’t it?”

“It was, until they left,” Lily was suddenly choking back on tears again. James drew his own wand, “Expecto Patronum.”

A stag with impressive antlers cantered out of his wand and leapt into the middle of the Heads’ Room, snorting and pawing the carpeted stone floor. Following her instinct, Lily gripped her wand tightly and raised it again. This time her memory was when James had taken her on a ride on his Nimbus. Lily could still remember every detail. How they had shot up to the night sky, dappled with stars. She remembered how the moon had washed them in silvery, bright light. And she had remembered how James and kissed her under the moon.

“Expecto Patronum.”

A new animal had sprung out of Lily’s wand. A doe.

It wasn’t a full Patronus but Lily could clearly see the slender neck and the white patches on the doe’s sleek body. It tossed it’s head and slowly trotted over to the stag. The stag also walked towards the doe. The two figures embraced, sniffing each other intently until they grew to each other’s presence and stood side by side, so closely that their pelts were touching.

Lily was breath taken, “That was brilliant.”

“A lot more than just brilliant,” James put his free hand on Lily’s waist as they watched fondly at the two Patronuses gazing at each other.

“This is it, James,” Lily sat in James’s lap. “It’s our last night in Hogwarts.” They were on the window seat in the Heads’ Room. They had already attended the End of Year feast and were thinking of spending the night in the Heads’ Room with some of their close Gryffindor friends. Tomorrow, they would be boarding the Hogwarts’ Express for the last time.

Alice and Frank, both Prefects, were lounging on one of the armchairs, looking sleepy. Padfoot, Moony and Wormy were on the floor at James’s feet, playing the last few games of Exploding Snap, Amy and Mary were still very single and were playing with them Everyone was in a good mood, savoring the moment before they stepped out of the safety of Hogwarts’ walls. There were more Dementor attacks, the number of halfbloods’ deaths or disappearances was increasing day by day and more wizards and Dark creatures were sighted with Voldemort. James knew he’d have to fight in the war against Voldemort one day but he wasn’t thinking about it just yet.

“I’ll miss this place,” James murmured, his lips brushing Lily’s.

“Me too,” Lily leaned her head on James’s shoulder.

Suddenly, the door of the Heads’ room was opened. Everyone stood up as Professor McGonagall strode into the room.

“Ah, good. Could everyone of you come with me please,” McGonagall ordered. “Professor Dumbledore wishes to see all of you.” Looking confused, they filed out of the Heads’ Room after the professor.

“Prongs, did you give us one last detention to do together?” Padfoot elbowed James jokingly.

They reached the gargoyle, the entrance to Dumbledore’s office.

“Licorice wands,” McGonagall said and a spiral staircase appeared. “Up you go.” The nine Seventh-years uncertainly hurried up the staircase into the circular office of Professor Dumbledore. He was sitting at his desk with a bowl of liquid placed in front of him. His eyes were closed and his hands were folded carefully on his lap.

The office was crowded, James recognized the grouchy face of Alastor Moody, Benjy Fenwick, Caradoc Dearborn, Fabian and Gideon Prewett and Dedalus Diggle from Ravenclaw, the young Groundskeeper Hagrid, Amos Diggory, Dorcas Meadows, Edgar Bones, Elphias Doge from Hufflepuff, he recognized a few vaguely familiar faces of alumni students and all the professors at Hogwarts. 

“Professor Dumbledore?” James said quietly.

Dumbledore nodded without opening his eyes, “James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Amy, Mary, Frank and Alice.”

“I am sure you have heard of the rising of Lord Voldemort and his evil ways,” Dumbledore started, opening his clear blue eyes and pulling out copies of recent Daily Prophets from the under of his desk. The headlines usually reported the number of half-bloods’ and muggles’ deaths. Everyone in the room cringed. “The Ministry is falling into his hands and the Aurors are on the brink of failing. I feel that we should do something.”

“Do something?” Alastor echoed.

Dumbledore nodded, “It is time for us to fight back, that is if any of you wish to.” His twinkling eyes swept over the students.

“I will,” Lily was the first to speak up. Dumbledore’s gaze rested momentarily on Lily, James guessed he knew about her parents’ murder. 

“Me too,” James gripped Lily’s hand tightly.

“Count us in,” the Gryffindors’ voices rang victoriously in the office.

“Of course,” replied the Hufflepuffs.

“Definitely,” the Ravenclaws answered.

“Professor Dumbledore,” Amos Diggory asked. “Why aren’t there any Slytherins, beside Professor Slughorn, here?” For a moment, there was painful silence in the office.

“As you all know, Voldemort was once in the Slytherin house and it has come to my attention that he has recruited some young followers there. They have studied, eat and slept with all of you inside the walls of Hogwarts but they have grown to follow him. I cannot afford anything said in these meetings to be heard by Lord Voldemort unless it is an absolute need,” Dumbledore explained. “Remember in these hard times, we cannot trust anyone easily.”

“Who are they?” Alastor growled. Everyone knew he had a thirst for hunting down Dark wizards. It wasn’t surprising that he was handing in his application form as an Auror the next morning.

“Avery, Mulciber, Malfoy, Lestrange and Snape to name a few,” Frank replied coldly. Lily stiffened when he spat Snape’s name. “I’ve seen them practicing what looked like Dark Magic. I’ve heard rumors that they have tried to do the Cruciatus Curse before.” The air in the office seemed to grow colder.

“Now, don’t we need a Secret Keeper or something?” Wormy piped up, looking nervous. “One who keeps all our secrets and arrange meetings and things like that.”

“I think Professor Dumbledore would be the proper person,” Alice suggested. Everyone nodded.

“Wait, the Secret Keeper of what?” Amy asked. “We’ve got to get a name for us, can’t we?”

“Hogwarts’ Group Against Voldemort?” Dedalus Diggle said. “H.G.A.V for short?”

“Or Protectors of Hogwarts?” Edgar Bones suggested.

“The Hogwarts’ Force,” Hagrid put in. 

“I don’t think this group applies to the safety of Hogwarts only,” Professor McGonagall spoke.

“Against Dark Arts?” Moody said gruffly.

“Perhaps the Fighters of Freedom?” Professor Sprout proposed gently.

“What about Dumbledore’s Army?” Professor Merrythought said.

“No,” James said. “If anyone else hears it by mistake, it’ll be too obvious and risky. It has to be something more covert but significant.” There was a moment of thoughtful thinking.

“The Order of the Phoenix?” once Lily said it, there was a murmur of approval from the crowd.

“Excellent, Miss Evans!” Slughorn said proudly.

“Then the Order of the Phoenix it is!” Moony crowed.

“What about Headquarters?” Mary McDonald raised the question.

“Hogwarts would be too obvious,” Dorcas Meadows said.

“Somewhere in Hogsmeade?” Frank Longbottom suggested.

“Not protected enough,” Amos Diggory shook his head.

“Not among Muggles, obviously. Voldemort would be able to track us down immediately!” Professor Flitwick squeaked.

“But somewhere quiet and big,” Madam Hooch said.

“12, Grimmauld Place,” Padfoot’s voice rose solely above the others. “It’s my parents’ home, or at least it was after they died a month ago. It’s mines now but I don’t want it. You can use it as Headquarters.”

“How’s it like?” Madam Pomfrey asked.

“It’s a mansion concealed inside a Muggle residence, it’s quite big and roomy so we could have all of us there and it’s well protected by our family’s protection spells as well. I could make the spells recognize everyone of the Order so they won’t kill you.”

“Brilliant!” James clapped Padfoot on the shoulder. “I’ve been there before. Bit gloomy and dusty, though.”

“Is there anyone currently living there?” Dumbledore asked.

“There’s a house elf called Kreacher but he can’t leave the house or say anything to outsiders,” Padfoot replied. “My only cousins Bellatrix and Narcissa Black, knows where it is but they rarely come since they live at the Malfoy Manor now and we could enforce the protection charms to keep them out.”

“Your cousins are the female to-be-Death Eaters in Slytherin, from what I heard,” Benjy Fenwick said suspiciously.

“Hey, watch it, Fenwick,” Moony stepped forward. “Padfoot’s in Gryffindor for a reason. He doesn’t like the pureblood nonsense and hates his cousins for joining Voldemort. I can prove it for seven whole years!” For extra effect, James and Wormy also glared at Fenwick.

“Just sayin’,” Fenwick muttered.

“But how do we communicate?” Professor McGonagall said. “We know that owls are being searched and the Floo Powder systems are watched.”

“And we should have as many types of communication systems as possible,” Slughorn said thoughtfully, “That way, we’ll be harder to track down.”

“I know a really great trick of making our heads appear in fireplaces so we can talk to each other,” Padfoot said again. “We’ve scared a lot of people that way.” Padfoot added cheekily. Lily and Amy stifled a groan; they knew too well how freaky it was, after Padfoot had appeared in the Gryffindor common room fire to spook them when they studied into the night. It would be all quiet and silent in the room except for the flipping of pages and scratching of quills until a horrible roaring would erupt from the fireplace, courtesy to Sirius Black. It scared the living daylights out of them

“Bewitched mirrors?” Moony said. “We can look into one and see the other person and talk to them but it’s really hard to make one.”

But James and Lily looked at each other and said simultaneously, “Patronuses.”

“Patronuses, you say? Miss Evans and Mr. Potter?” Sprout’s eyes grew wide. “That is a great idea!”

“I agree,” Dumbledore smiled admiringly. “We shall use all the suggested forms of communication, I’ll try to figure something out with Mr. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin about those magical mirrors and popping heads in fires. Miss Lily Evans and James Potter will work with me about those communicating Patronuses. Until next time we meet, my loyal members of the Order.”

And the first meeting of the Order of the Phoenix was adjourned.

The small velvet box pressed against his leg in James’s pants pocket as he waited for Alastor Moody, one of the Order’s contacts in the Ministry, to finish his monthly report at the large dining room table at 12, Grimmauld Place. He turned his head to glance at Lily, his now steady girlfriend, sitting beside him. They had been dating for almost two years now and the two months after they left Hogwarts were the best. Without the grades and curfews in the way, they were having an amazing time.

James loved it when they spent hours into the night working on their communication system with Patronuses, conjuring one after another. James loved how he would pick her up and spin her around, her curtain of red hair tickling his cheek. And he loved those peaceful nights when they would just lie on the couch together and chat about small things or even just savoring the quietness in each other’s arms until they dozed off. Not knowingly, he had a dreamy smile plastered on his face.

“Thank you, Alastor,” Professor Flitwick stood up, cutting into James thoughts. “Does anyone else would like to say something?”

“Yes, professor,” James stood up confidently but his insides were squirming, yelling at him to just sit down. He took Lily’s hand and walked to the head of the dining room table.

“James?” Lily tilted her head to one side and raised one perfect eyebrow. “What’s this all about?” James didn’t answer; he could feel everyone’s eyes locked on him. His cheeks started burning and his heart was going to jump out of his mouth any moment know.

Man up! James ordered himself. You are definitely not going to act scared in front of Lily Evans. You are going to take care of her for the rest of her life. James took a deep breath, as he took out the small box out of his pocket, he knelt down to the floor on one knee. Everyone gasped as he opened the small velvet box and revealed a diamond ring with the diamond that had been sculpted into a lily flower. Lily widened her eyes and blinked a few times, “Um, James… Why do you have that?”

“You’ve made me realize that I can find someone who I feel complete with, who I’ve been through so much, who I’ve put in so much effort to get at, who is worth dying for… And I did, so I’d like to cherish this person for the rest of my life,” James had prepared this speech by himself and he had truly said it from the heart. “I love you more than you can imagine and with so much evil out there, we could be dead by tomorrow but I need to know…Lily Evans, will you marry me?” The whole room had stopped breathing now, including James.

Lily looked like she was about to cry, “Yes.” And everyone cheered. Padfoot was doing some kind of weird victory dance, Wormtail was clapping loudly and Moony had a “about time, too” smile on his face. Even the professors were clapping and whooping. Lily laughed and pulled James up from the floor. James slipped the ring onto her third finger.

“It’s beautiful,” Lily murmured into James ear.

“You deserve the best, Lily,” James replied and kissed her deeply in front of everyone. And at that moment, everything was forgotten, the only thing that mattered was James loves Lily and Lily loves James. That is all.

P.S. Feedback please! :)