Lily remembered this street well as she walked between the grey, two story houses. There was an old sign hanging crookedly beside a lamppost, “Spinner’s End.”
She came to the last house on Spinner’s End and knocked the door. A familiar face greeted her.
“Lily?” Severus greeted her, his eyes flashing with surprise and something else.
“Hey, Sev,” Lily said quietly. It was a long time since they last spoke.
“Come on in,” Sev stood out of the way as Lily walked into the sitting room. It was the same room five years ago when she visited.
“You can sit at your usual spot,” Sev grinned, pointing at the padded leather armchair in the same corner.
“No thanks, Sev,” Lily said as she stood in the middle of the room, “I’m in a hurry and I wanted to give you this.” Lily took a white envelope made of heavy paper out of her handbag.
“Try to come,” she said softly. “If you don’t, I understand.” Sev looked at the envelope to the ring on Lily’s left hand.
“Oh, that’s great,” Sev said, he was a bit out of breath. The news hadn’t sunk in yet.
“Bye, Sev. I hope to see you there. I’ll show myself out,” then Lily gave a small smile at Sev before walking out of the door.
Once Lily left, Sev collapsed into Lily’s ‘usual chair’. The chair she usually sat in when she came over to have tea while his drunken father as out. They would chat for hours, sipping tea and eating biscuits his mother made. It would put Sev in a good mood for the rest of the week.
It was the same time for tea but Lily hadn’t even sat down or even took a bite out of her favorite snack. Instead, she had handed Sev a white envelope. With shaking hands he opened it and read it.
“To our beloved friends, it is out great pleasure to invite you to the wedding of James Potter and Lily Evans…”
Sev couldn’t read further down the invitation and he dropped it on the floor. His eyes were full with tears as he buried his head in his hands. He knew this day was coming; James and Lily were finally together.
Lily, his former best friend, with the bane of his existence, James Potter. Sev knew his feelings for Lily weren’t just friends or siblings. He knew he liked Lily very much but he was afraid to admit it, he was afraid he would scare her away. So he secretly enjoyed every “Good morning, Sev” and every single moment spent with Lily. But he had in the end, singlehandedly destroyed it. He hated himself every breath he took.
Her green eyes would never look at him anymore but for Potter’s. No one but Potter.
Sev didn’t want to believe it. He looked at the letter on the floor then rested his head in the armchair.
In the end, he didn’t go to the wedding. He knew there would be some unpleasant tension if he showed up. Potter would probably hex or jinx him in front of everyone and it would tear it apart. But most importantly, he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to control himself and just ruin everything. What he wanted most dearly was for Lily to just live happily every after with her James Potter and he knew James would take care of his new Mrs. Potter. Nothing else mattered.
But little did Sev know that when Lily was walking down the aisle towards James, she was searching with the corner of her eyes to see if Sev was there. But he wasn’t and Lily felt horribly guilty. It upset her until she said, “I do.” And she knew that nothing mattered to her but James Potter.
“I told you Harry will like it,” James smirked as one-year-old Harry Potter played with a brand new miniature Quaffle in his crib, gurgling happily as he batted at it. Lily folded her arms across her chest and huffed playfully at James, “Yes, James, I know that very well. But now it’s bedtime for Harry.”
James whined as Lily took the Quaffle away from Harry and put it on the shelf in Harry’s tiny room. “You sound more disappointed than him,” Lily laughed as she laid a soft blanket over their toddler.
“It’s for practice, Lily,” James replied cheekily as he flicked off the light. He held Lily’s hand and led her downstairs to the sitting room. “You know, when we can leave Godric’s Hollow and go back to our home in Cornwall, Harry will have loads of space to practice his Quidditch skills. I could even train him to be a Seeker, like me!”
“And he could play in the Gryffindor Quidditch Team as well,” Lily played along with James as they curled up together on the couch, gazing affectionately at each other.
“Mm, and he will meet a wonderful girl and take her on a ride on his Nimbus under the moon and kiss her like this,” James smiled at Lily and leaned in for a kiss. But Lily was already on step ahead of him and had thrown her arms around James’s neck and pulled him close. Lily breathed in James’s comforting scent and she felt his arms around her waist and lower back. Everything was perfect.
Suddenly, there was a loud banging on the door.
James sighed as he broke away from Lily, “It’s probably Padfoot, he probably forgot to get his key for his house.” James stood up and flashed a grin at Lily and opened the door.
But it was not Sirius Black that greeted them at the door. But a black figure with red slits for eyes, snowy white skin and flowing black robes that clung to his bony figure.
“Why, hello. James,” the intruder said in a high voice. James didn’t move, “Lily! Take Harry and go!” He clenched his jaw and looked at Voldemort in the eye. He stood firmly between Lily as she rushed up to Harry’s bedroom.
“Very brave, James Potter. Very brave indeed,” Voldemort sneered. “But I’m afraid no protection will save you tonight.” He raised his wand and pointed it at James. James reached for his but he remembered that he had left it in Harry’s room. But he wasn’t scared, if James had to die, it would be for Lily.
“You may be able to kill us, Voldemort,” James growled. “But you won’t be able to kill the Order of the Phoenix or Hogwarts.”
Voldemort cackled, “Well said, Potter. Well said. But I’m afraid it’s too late.”
James stood up straighter, as if to shield Lily more.
“Avada Kadavra!” Voldemort yelled. A flash of green and James Potter and fallen backwards, his eyes still remained defiant, his jaw remained clenched and his back still remained straight. Voldemort stepped over his body.
JAMES! Lily couldn’t say anything. James was gone.
Nothing… No more…
She stumbled towards Harry’s room in a daze and slammed the door shut hoping to buy a few more precious seconds.
She replayed the last few seconds of James in her mind.
He was kissing her and smiling, talking about their future after they came out of hiding. But it was gone. James was dead on the floor. Straight backed, just like how he sat confidently on his Nimbus 1800. He kissed her like how they had kissed under the moon. But that was gone as well. He smiled at her like he had just pulled a really good prank. Lily remembered all his jokes and pranks and all the times he had asked her out. But those were all memories now.
Lily fell to her knees and remembered how James had proposed to her in front of the Order. It probably was the happiest moment of her entire life. Or maybe when she had said “I do” to James and he had kissed her at the altar. But that was gone too.
James only lived inside her and her memories with him seemed to grow a shade lighter as if the death of the person who shared it had taken away part of them.
Lily looked up and saw her eyes…no, Harry’s eyes staring back at her. Lily was wrong. James did live on. He lived on in her dear Harry James Potter. Lily could see Harry’s life stretching on in front of him. He would look exactly like James, Lily thought tenderly, and he’ll have my eyes. Eyes that James loves.
Some things are worth dying for, Lily. James’s words came back to her. It gave Lily strength.
Lily dragged herself to Harry’s crib where he sat, looking at his mother.
“Harry, your father’s dead,” Lily sobbed but this time, there was no James’s shoulder to lean on. “But he died an honorable death. He died protecting us. Remember him, Harry. Remember him. Harry, be strong!”
And all hell broke loose.
The door burst open and Voldemort was at the door, his wand poised.
“NO!” Lily screamed and threw herself in front of Harry, the only part of James left.
“Avada Kadavra!” Voldemort roared. The Killing Curse hit Lily square in the chest and she crumpled to the floor as darkness crashed over her like a wave.
But it wasn’t ordinary darkness like falling asleep but soft, comfortable darkness. Just like how James’s arms felt. And sure enough, Lily was with James. He was smiling down at her, his hazel eyes with golden flecks staring lovingly down at her behind his horn-rimmed glasses. His black hair was a mess and he had a goofy, dimpled smirk on his face.
“James,” Lily buried her face into his chest and James held her tightly, “Lily.”
Lily! Sev Apparated in front of the Potter’s temporary home. Please don’t let them be hurt! Even James Potter! Not caring if any Muggles saw him, Sev tore through the front door of the Potter’s home. The sitting room was a mess, the furniture was over turned and lamps were smashed. He saw James Potter’s body, his brown eyes staring lifelessly upwards. James is dead? As much as Sev hated James, he didn’t want him to die. But if James is dead, he might have fought the Dark Lord and Lily could have escaped! A small flicker of hope appeared in Sev’s heart.
He raced up the stairs but he was greeted with more havoc. He already knew the answer. Lily Potter had not survived. His knees buckled and he crashed against the wall. Please, NO!
He forced himself to make his way down the hall and followed his instinct and found himself in a child’s room. The toys were strewn all over the floor and the body of Lily Potter lay motionlessly next to a crib.
Like James, he beautiful emerald eyes were staring sightlessly upwards. Sev let out a cry and fell to the floor beside Lily. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug, rocking her back and forth.
Tears streamed down his cheeks and his tears landed on Lily’s waterfall of red hair. He shook his head and buried his face into Lily’s hair for the first and last time. He tried to catch a slight trace of her warm, flowery scent but a cold and hard body replaced it.
Lily was gone. The only girl and friend he loved and cared about was gone. Forever.
Some time later, Sev heard someone coming in the house. He recognized the familiar voice of Dumbledore and Hagrid. Sev stood up and started to Apparate out but the second before he left, he caught a sight of a baby sitting in the crib, looking at Lily with familiar green eyes.
10 years later…
“Welcome back to Hogwarts!” Dumbledore stood cheerfully at the teachers’ table in the Great Hall. “Welcome to all first years…”
But Sev wasn’t listening, he was ‘interrogating’ Quirrel. He had noticed Quirrel acting strangely and knew something was wrong with him.
“What are you hiding?” Sev hissed.
“N-n-nothing!” Quirrel stuttered but his eyes were telling another story.
“You’d better tell me the truth, Quirrel. You don’t want me as your enemy,” Sev leaned in more closely and he faintly heard Dumbledore mentioning something about First Years. Sev did an automatic calculation in his head: Lily’s son was going to be at Hogwarts for the first time.
Sev ran his eyes over the Gryffindor table and he saw James Potter sitting there.
No. That young boy wasn’t James Potter. He had Lily’s eyes and he was staring straight at Sev.
For the first time in 10 years, Sev saw Lily Evans’ eyes staring back at him again.
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