Elevator

• Ways to SERIOUSLY annoy people in an elevator
• Same policy! :)
• Act like a dog, growl at people. 
• Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
• Apply dripping red paint around the edge of the roof hatch. When someone enters, look upwards and whisper "I think they want in..."
• Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
• Ask everyone what they made for their side dish. 
• Ask someone to take your temperature, then turn around and bend over. 
• Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?” 
• Attempt to hypnotize the other passengers. 
• Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
• Blow spit balls at the ceiling. 
• Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
• Blow your nose on your sleeve. 
• Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator. 
• Bring a chair along.
• Bring easy math flash cards on the elevator and ask the person next to you to help you study them (get them wrong). 
• Burp, and then say “mmmm...tasty!”
• Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it. 
• Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on. 
• Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
• Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.
• Clutch your stomach and gasp. 
• Collapse on the floor when the elevator goes up, then get up and look embarrassed.
• Collect an elevator tax. 
• Count down from 100,000 out loud. 
• Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
• Do Tai Chi exercises.
• Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
• Draw a volleyball on the wall of the elevator and insist you have been trapped in there for 3 months. Formally introduce everyone to the volleyball! 
• Dress as a clergy member of the opposite sex. 
• Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!” 
• Eat jello through a straw. 
• Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!" 
• Give each passenger a round of applause as they enter or leave. 
• Give each passenger a ticket and remind them that door prize drawing is in half an hour. 
• Give people lectures about the periodic table of elements 
• Give religious tracts to each passenger.
• Go into extreme detail explaining how you were trapped in an elevator once for two days. 
• Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
• Greet everyone with a smile and a handshake, then ignore them. 
• Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" 
• Guard the button panel so no one can touch it. Growl and bite at anyone’s fingers who attept to cross you. 
• Have a picnic in the elevator. 
• Have a seizure. 
• Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?” 
• Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.
• Hug yourself. 
• Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator. 
• Hum the theme to Jeopardy 
• If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"
• If anyone brushes against you, whisper to them "was it good for you too?" 
• Introduce yourself as Ochenga-Wangaa The great chief and begin telling stories of your native island.
• Jump up when the elevator reaches a stop. 
• Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they want to play. 
• Lean against the button panel.
• Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
• Leave a box between the doors.
• Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking. 
• Lick gummy bears and stick them to things (the walls, the buttons, the passengers, etc.) 
• Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
• Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
• Make farm noises. 
• Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
• Make sure the emergency phone is working. 
• Meow occasionally.
• Move your desk in to the elevator, and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment. 
• Mumble autistically about the possibilities of elevator accidents. 
• Offer a bite of your fresh tangerine to everyone coming on board. 
• Offer hitman services. 
• Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
• On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
• On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
• Open a lemonade stand. 
• Perform the Hamlet soliloquy. When a new passenger enters, start over again. 
• Pick your nose. 
• Place police tape (CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS) on the inside of the doors. 
• Play dead. 
• Play patty--cake with the door. 
• Play the harmonica.
• Pour water on the front of your trousers, so it looks like you have wet yourself, tell everyone who comes in to the elevator, that you had a little accident. 
• Pray to Budda. 
• Preach about the end of the world. 
• Pretend to be dead and lie on the elevator floor.
• Pretend you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers 
• Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
• Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. 
• Read a book upside down. 
• Recite poetry in monotone. 
• Request for people to watch you Riverdance. 
• Say "Ding!" at each floor. 
• Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 
• Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”
• Scratch yourself. 
• Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. When they try to look, hide the pad. 
• Sell Girl Scout cookies.
• Shadow box. 
• Shave.
• Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. 
• Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons.
• Sing: "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerve's, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, i know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and it goes like this!" to the tune of "camp town lady".....pause.....repeat....continually. 
• Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. 
• Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
• Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
• Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger." 
• Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce “I’ve got new socks on!”
• Start a sing-along.
• Start reciting "Green Eggs and Ham" and ask people what comes next. 
• Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: “Wanna see wha in muh mouf?”
• Tap dance. 
• Tell everyone about the hidden rooftop penthouse belonging to the mob. 
• Tell everyone about your love life. 
• Tell people you can see their aura. 
• Tell the passengers not to worry. The bomb won't go off for at least another two minutes. 
• Throw a party in the vator! 
• Try to purchase an article of clothing from the person next to you. 
• Untie one shoe, then tie the other. Repeat. 
• Walk in circles. Change directions when you hit a passenger. 
• Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side.
• Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.
• Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer suggestively at other passengers.
• Wear a basketball jersey. Show everyone your armpit. Works best if you get a good workout and don't use deodorant. 
• Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. 
• Wear a Santa suit...in June. 
• Wear a ski mask and carry an axe. 
• Wear complete SCUBA gear, then offer your buddy hose to the other passengers 
• When the elevator doors close, bang on them, screaming let me out!
• When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 
• When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now... motion sickness!”
• When the elevator doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay, don’t panic, they’ll open again.” 
• When the doors close pretend you arm got caught in it. 
• When the doors open, pretend you did it with your mind. 
• When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?" 
• When the elevator reaches another passenger’s floor, scream and collapse in front of the door. 
• When there’s only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you. 
• While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, “hide it...quick!” then whistle innocently.
• Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.