Saturday, 3 December 2011

Little Demons

I'm probably never going to have a kid. Know why? Here are the reasons...

Before the kid is born:

  • When you're carrying a baby, your body will get extremely uncomfortable. Your insides get squished and you can't breathe properly. Uncool. It's like having an asthma attack 24/7
  • You need a lot of treatments and special food to ensure the kid is growing healthily. Guess how much the bill is? (Not answering that.)
  • You might get miscarriage. Wow. All that money wasted and fuss over something that is unworthy. Great. 
After the kid is born:

  • More pain than you can imagine.
  • You might die for something that will probably turn out as a failure. 
  • It'll eat into A LOT of you money. Toys, education, health care... 
  • You'll lose so much calcium. When the dude is out, your calcium level is dangerously low.
  • Even after you raise it, the kid might turn his/her back on you and leave you out to live in the cold. Awesome. Like I want that. 
  • When the kid does something bad and goes to jail. Who gets the blame for not raising them well? 
Yep, those are the reasons why.

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