“Daily Giving Service”
The DGS motto.
It means giving service everyday. Loving people, helping people. Basically making the world a better place.
I’ve never given a fucking damn about those three words.
First impression: What a load of bullshit.
Now: It kind of means something to me now.
And it was all because of a pen stand Jose and I saw in the library. It was in the shape of SIS. I swear, my heart skipped a beat. Something inside jerked, powerfully. I was standing there, in mid-step, just staring as the memories washed over me.
From the first day of PY to Graduation.
If I was a teeny bit more emo, I would have burst into tears. Right then and there.
We asked the librarian about it and she said Mrs. Lau (our headmistress) gave it to her. Then I vowed in my heart that I would find Mrs. Lau one day and ask her about it.
So we did.
Stages of Operation Find-the-headmistress:
1. Combing through the 3rd floor where you could find all the adults. Except for the “forbidden hallway”. Okay, it wasn’t forbidden but it looked very secret and… Important. Like in a secret agency. Jose and I were doubtful that we could just walk in and check it out.
2. Camping out there whenever we could at lunch. We eat lunch at recess so we could do some homework at lunch. We didn’t even see the shadow of her.
3. Doris asked my Math teacher where could we find her and he told us to go down that hallway.
4. We went down the Hallway.
5. There was no one in the Secretary Office.
6. There was no one in the Headmistress’s Office either.
7. I realized that every time Mrs. Lau wanted to see a girl, she would tell her to find her at recess not lunch!
8. So I gulped down my lunch at recess (which gave me a stomach ache for the rest of the day) and we went to the Hallway.
9. We saw her going into her office but we knew that we should tell the secretary first but she was busy so… We knocked. (It took four deep breaths and two practice knockings)
10. “Come in” We tried to turn the doorknob but it wouldn’t budge so we called “We can’t open the door.” “Push” We pushed, a little too hard I think and practically landed onto her floor.
11. So we asked about the pen stand. She said she couldn’t remember and will look at it and come back to us later.
Mission Accomplished.
But that wasn’t the end.
“Are you enjoying it here at DGS?”
That one, very simple question containing only seven words, 25 letters, a pair of speech marks and a question mark turned out conversation 180°.
You see, Jose and I said that we would probably lie to everyone else that we were okay here but not the headmistress. The headmistress was our only hope of anything changing. All the others would probably lecture us and crap like that.
So we told the truth.
No lies. No secrets. No nothing. Just straight from our heart.
She frowned and asked us to take a seat.
I was ready for a scolding of perhaps:
“DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE ALREADY? OUT OF 1000 (I am seriously not kidding about the 1000) GIRLS OUT OF HONG KONG, I CHOSE YOU TWO AND NOW YOU DON’T LIKE IT? THIS IS A DREAM SCHOOL! SHUT UP AND LIKE IT.
No, she nodded and tried to understand. She told us that she had never realized that these problems would arise and suggested that we make an appointment at lunch and talk more about it.
That was my best recess ever. Really, EVER.
So next day at lunch. We were there again. We talked more about our problems and she suddenly said that we should go over to the library and take a look at the pen stand. When we were walking there, millions of girls were staring at us and saying “Hello” They were to Mrs. Lau of course but… I felt honored too.
“Ah, I remember this.”
She remembers! Hip, hip, hooray!
She said Madam Mak and her met once and gave her these gifts. She was planning to visit DGS one day but it was not scheduled yet. (But if she did, I hope Mrs. Lau will let us two see her!! Provided we were still studying there.)
Then Mrs. Lau suggests she called our parents and invites them in for a chat.
Oh, um… Okay? I guess.
Then she said if it comes to worst, she’d persuade our parents to change us back to SIS.
I was simply overjoyed. I imagined all the possibilities.
My friends.
Back where I knew who I was.
Back where I loved my school.
Back where I enjoyed school.
Back where school was a sanctuary.
A haven for me.
School isn’t just learning. It was my main source of happiness. Where I was content. Where I felt at peace. DGS is not a haven for me.
It might be a dream school for others.
A miracle, perhaps. Or even a godsend.
It isn’t. For me.
Then I felt the true meaning of “Daily Giving Service.” Mrs. Lau taught us that, not directly but through her actions and effort.
It was like God, speaking through her to us. Helping us, through her.
Of course, it wasn’t just God alone. There was her kindness, understanding…
God bless her so much.
I came back home, delighted. When my mom was there at the door, glowering at me.
This could not be good.
Mom: Why am I asked to meet Mrs. Lau?
Me: Don’t worry; I’m not in trouble. I just told her my problems and she wanted to see you.
Mom: You complained in front of her!!??
Me: NO! I didn’t say that!
Mom: You must’ve asked her to tell me to send you back to SIS! I won’t! I don’t have the money to send you back or overseas so deal with it. You have to put up with everything. *She calms down a little * Why didn’t you tell me?
Me: As you said, you can’t do anything about it even if you tried. You wouldn’t even care.
Mom (exploding again): Stop talking trash to adults, okay? I try my best to help you fit in! I come back early from work so I can help you.
Reality: She comes back from work and all she does is sleep and hunts for food and yell “Where’s the food?” The fuck, I rather her stay at her office.
Me: I told her everything you said about everything but she still wants to see you.
Mom: You know, you expect that the whole world will change for you if I go right? WRONG!! NOTHING WILL CHANGE! NOTHING!
Me (in my mind): I fucking didn’t ask for change, I just asked you to get your asshole to 1, Jordan Road and look into the problem. You won’t so I guess that’s how you fucking care about me.
Then Mom keeps yelling at me in her I-am-the-adult-so-you-have-to-do-every-thing-I-say voice.
I fucking hate that voice. It’s so annoying and really doesn’t work anymore. We all know now that there is actually no way for you to argue against us
Doesn’t she know that I don’t feel content at DGS? I don’t like it, emotionally. And emotion is very important for learning.
But my parent’s are still going to have a chat.
Mood: No comment.
