Dream State

For those who know me personally, you probably know I bite. No, I don’t bite other people, I bite myself. I bite myself when I’m angry, sad or frustrated. I bit myself in the P4 Math finals until the marks didn’t go away for two days. I bit myself until blood came out for three times, I licked it all up and it tasted good. (Jose calls me a vampire, hehe) I bit myself when I was angry that I had to leave SIS, attend DGS and deal with the teachers who can’t even speak English properly! I kept biting myself for the whole summer until I HAD to accept it.

Why? Because a single a dream I had when I was young.

I dreamt that I was at this really posh mansion and usually people who lived there are really rich and powerful people. They had ancestors and they wanted to make them live again. So, I don’t know how, they got vampire venom that made vampires. They dug up all the bodies from the graveyard. They sliced open their chests and poured the venom inside. They slowly began to breathe again and they opened their eyes. They eyes were blood red and their skin was all pale. (Note: I had this dream BEFORE I read Twilight) Their human relatives took them to the graveyard and they were gasping and pointing at their own tomb. Then there were two humans who were not part of the family who passed by and the vampires lost control and started to bite their necks and sank their fangs into their necks and drank their blood. After killing lots of people, they were after me and I felt their fangs sinking into my neck then I lost conscious. And woke up. Then I had sudden urges to bite myself.

I have really strange wacky dreams sometimes. I will sometimes dream of the future. I will see the future but I don’t know when it’ll happen or where it’ll happen. I just know when it happens. But it’s mostly pointless and random stuff like sitting in the classroom or walking down the street.

But my queerest dreams are of me dying. DYING. Sometimes I was in a fatal car accident, I would either fly out of the car and smash my body into bits or some bus will hit me. Or I’ll be falling off a cliff… Or one time, I was an assassin, I can’t really remember what happened but I can remember VIVIDLY when my finger was on the trigger of a Hush Puppy with a silencer. I squeezed and I could feel the recoil as the bullet shot out. I didn’t know who was the victim but when I woke up, my wrist was sore as if I had actually fired a gun.    

Another freaky thing is that I can wake up from my dream myself. Like in the middle of a dream, I can say to myself I want to get up. I try to find my way back to my body and I wake up. The second before I get back to my body, I felt my body was so cold and heavy, as if when I dreamt, my soul left the body to the 'dream world' and took the heat away from it. I've only tried this a couple of times and it's really hard to do but I know I can do it.