Blue macaroni

Words that describe P5:

§  Great

§  Frustrating

§  Mind boggling

§  Amazing

§  Just plain Blue Macaroni

Heh, you must be thinking, what is blue macaroni? Why blue macaroni? In P5, the phrase blue macaroni popped into my head. Why?

Because of a new kid. Tony Tan. (I’m evil. I’m scratching old wounds…)

He, well, kind of went a little overboard with the whole crush-y thing. For the whole time, I was bombarded by rumors, drama and mood swings. I was pushed around like I was some kind of amusement thingy. People talked about it, laughed at it, sneered at it. Tony had the same experience. But he could speak his mind.

I couldn’t. I was overwhelmed with drama, I couldn’t think straight. It was so messy.

It all started with Shushu saying, “Hey, you know someone likes you?”

I wish I had never heard it. Honestly, I really didn’t bother about these things. It would cross my mind once in a while then it would take off again.

I sighed and played along. Bad move. It spread faster than germs. By the next week, everyone in the class knew. Yee-hoo. -.-

No biggie, I thought. That was what I thought. Then there was the computer lab. We were both at the last of the register so we had to sit opposite each other. I could feel people looking, wondering. I really hated it. I didn’t want to be in the spotlight because I was liked.

It was blue macaroni. With ham and cheese.

Then we started chatting on FB. I did it so he could get the message and get off my back. But I was subtle, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

Turns out I wasn’t subtle enough. It got worse. That was bad.

There was more teasing, more people asking how were we “doing”, when were we getting married. I despised it. It was unnecessary. I wanted to tell them it was seriously none of their business. I felt so stressed yet more rumors started to fly about us. I wished it would all stop.

It was blue macaroni. With ham and cheese. With mashed potato.

Shanghai Immersion. That was the peak.

10 days, 24 hours a day, all in a 10-mile radius. Oh, bother. I knew it was going to be bad. Our dorms were on the same floor, whenever the teachers weren’t there, there would be a crowd in the corridor, pushing us together. I remember clearly that he was lying on the floor and I was pushed down as well. It was annoying. I couldn’t take it anymore. So I yelled at him. I was already getting visions of me creeping into his bed at night and slashing at him with my safety scissors. I could feel the blood washing over my hands, hot, sticky, the tangy scent was delicious.

After I yelled at him, I heard that he had an asthma attack and swallowed a whole box of Strepsils. I felt sorry now because I knew how if felt like having an asthma attack. But I had to make him feel more afraid of me than liking me. So I yelled at him even more. To my surprise, he wrote a love letter. *FACE PALM Totally different reaction I expected. When I held it, I wanted to rip out my Hush Puppy with the silencer and aim it in the middle of his forehead. I wanted so badly to load it with the specially modified bullet so it wouldn’t just kill him, it would tear him in half, he would be a bloody blob in seconds. Or pull the trigger on the 9mm Browning, short and sweet. (Yes, I’ve had these kind of visions since I was in P5)He won’t feel any pain. But I couldn’t. So I did what normal girls usually do. I tore it into confetti. Looking back, I think I was too softhearted to tear it in front of Adrian Lee and ask him to give it to him. (Actually, thanks, Adrian for doing that.) I guessed I should have dragged him out of the dorm, in front of everybody, and rip it right in front of him.

The tear of the paper echoing in the cold morning air. Shhhht, shhht. Over and over again until they were microscopic. Then I would sprinkle it all over him like sprinkling coconut shavings over lamingtons. (Ooooh!! It’s making me hungry!!) Or I could keep the letter and use it in the future to blackmail him. Argh, there goes the scheming instinct. Then the “message” on the bus window.

I’m kinda glad it’s over.

It’s blue macaroni. With ham and cheese. With mashed potato. Chip, chip, chip.