Author's note_2

How did you like my collaborated Fanfiction? I got this one on HPFanfiction.com. I took the storyline then I added on to it, changed some parts and deleted around 50+ pages. But still, CREDITS TO THE PERSON WHO WROTE IT! (:

I really liked the original one and I made sure some of the crucial parts weren’t gone so if you want to read the original one, you can go on HPFanFiction.com and search for ‘If Wishes Were Fishes’. ßThat’s the least I can do for the amazing author, to give her/him some advertisement! (:

Okay, some people may think I’m writing this in my free time. As a hobby or something, to kill time. But it’s not.

During writing, I find out a lot more about myself. In Emblems, I never knew I could describe a fight when I have never even punched someone. Car chases and counter-surveillance scenes that I have never even dreamed of can just some how form in my mind. It’s magical.

It’s the same for this collaborated work. In fact, it’s a lot more prominent. I read the original one and the one I’ve edited over and over again and I can literally see shadows of myself walking between the lines. I can see my thoughts echoing Lily’s and I can see my more playful/insecure self in James. If you read it carefully, you actually can pick up loads of facts about myself.

I’ve made James a lot more protective of Lily. I’ve always wanted that. I’ve always wanted someone to just take care of me without me knowing. And I’ve made him seem more like a matured gentleman sometimes.

Maybe it’s because I’m too paranoid. Maybe it’s because I take too many precautions to hide my traces. Or maybe it’s just the fact that I’ve seen so much sadness in my life. And it makes me want someone who can just set my sadness free.

I flinched as I heard a roar of pain from behind the curtain, followed by the old nurse’s voice assuring him that it wouldn’t hurt much longer.

It actually hurt to hear James scream in pain. It was the worst sound I had ever heard. It was literally slicing and dicing my insides in every possible way. And it was even worse when I had partially caused it and I couldn’t even do anything about it. Another yell ripped through the air and something sharp and serrated rammed into me. It was true. Hearing the one you care in pain is really the worse pain there is. I could hear the loud gasps of pain echoing in the infirmary. Images of James bleeding on the bed flooded my mind. His blood staining the pure-white sheets, the light ebbing from his hazel eyes and his twitching growing weaker.

No… Please… I can’t lose James as well… Please… No… Don’t let him leave me…

I can’t lose James. I can’t. I can’t. I prayed feverishly in my head. Not after so much we’ve been through. No… James can’t leave me.

Silent tears were streaming down my face, my bloody hands clasped together in front of me as I stood waiting. Sirius and Remus were exchanging equally confused looks and I knew how bewildering this must be for them.

I just found out something quite important to me while writing those a hundred words or so. I have a new phobia.

I’m scared of hearing people that I care about scream in agony. It’s painful. I can’t take it.

And you might say, ‘well, of course. Everybody’s afraid/doesn’t want that to happen.’

But no, I have heard that scream before. It haunts me; I can’t get rid of it. Yet I hear it every single day. It terrifies me.

I’m not joking. Everyday, I hear those screams. I can’t describe it. It’s basically Fear itself speaking to me. It’s Pain itself torturing me. It’s Guilt itself taunting me that I can’t do anything.

I hear loved one screaming in pain everyday. I can’t stop it, it echoes in my ear and never truly leaves me. And that’s why everyday, I can’t bear to let go. I always imagine someone I care about shrieking in anguish. Sometimes, I can’t even go to sleep.

Everyday, I live in dread that someone close to me is leaving soon. I cling onto them tightly. I try to protect them. I don’t tell them things that they should know.

But at the end, I’ve learnt this the hard way: You can’t save everyone. Because I did tell one person everything that they should’ve known and where did that end me?

That person’s gone. Forever. He’s not coming back. He’ll live somewhere far, far away and will never come back. And I’m here, just listening to loved ones scream and I can’t help it because I know I’m just plunging the knife deeper into the wound if I tell them everything.

But I live solely on the hope that one day, I will tell everyone what happened. And on that day, the screams will leave me and no one will get hurt when I tell the whole truth.

And the nightmares.

James’ nightmares of Lily dying on him, and Lily’s nightmare of James breakup. I’ve had these nightmares before. I remember them too vividly. Well, no. I didn’t have a breakup dream before but I had a dream that was based loosely on it. I was forcing myself not to crush on this person. And I couldn’t breathe for two whole minutes because of the pain. It was truly a nightmare.

I’m going to have another one coming out in around April? It’s about Lily and James’ seventh year and beyond. It’ll probably take you by surprise a bit since I’m deciding to take it to the next level in their relationships. I’ve tweaked their personalities quite a bit because I want to work on different stuff. And the next fanfic is actually a birthday present for Jose! (: Yeah, I know it’s seriously late/ridiculously early but it was ‘tailor-made’ just for her!   

Ophelia: Here's a snowy scene of James and Lily you wanted! :) (Eek, I know it's a bit small! :P)

And another one.

But this one's the best. DEFINITELY THE BEST. :)  

*Sighs*

The Big Seven of my childhood. My mom was actually a Potterhead so I grew up reading HP but I didn't really get it when I was a kid. But I sure do now. :')

"Always." "We never left." "Until the very end." "You're nearly there, son.""You have been so brave."

A picture speaks a thousand words.

I'm writing something about Pettigrew's betrayal in the next fanfic. Lily and James are nearly done. And everytime I end a fanfic/story, I feel as if a close friend has died. 

I need to see this on every single July, 15th. (Premiere of DH Part 2)

"You have your mother's eyes." Lily reflecting on her relationship with James(the Snitch)? 

James with his arrogant smirk. He's probably looking at Snape with Lily. Or, he's got an O on his Transfiguration test without studying when Lily achieved the same marks but had to hit the books.

I've always believed in magic.

Ophelia: You know, you talk about James and Lily as if they're really alive. 

Me: They're real for me.

One thing I seriously LOVED about the movies is that they casted EVERYONE perfectly so every time I pick up the books and imagine the scenes in my mind, I don't see my own version of Harry/Ron/Hermione or whoever. I see Dan. I see Rupert. And I see Emma. They're not just acting as them, the Golden Trio IS the Golden Trio.  

This is a foreshadowing of Pettigrew's betrayal. See if you can guess what happens.

Lily was really pretty when she was a kid. They casted James wrong, though. He had BLACK hair, is that too much to ask?

The Mirror of Erised. This part was so sad. It reminded me that no matter how much Harry was adored and had friends or whatever, he never had parents while his parents were the greatest of them all.

Forever.

I have received my Hogwarts' letter. I have went to Hogwarts. When? Everytime I open one of my Harry Potter books.

The end.

Or else you better know the counter-curse to Sectumsempra or Avada Kedavra.  

This totally sums up my life. 

I think in my age, these were the greatest literature phenomena yet.    

The Marauders.

If you are a true Potterhead, you know what this is all about. 

This summary is too short. So many things happened with Lily and James, it can't be summarized into just THIS. 

I love this one.

I honestly don't think Pettigrew looked like this. And I really love how James turned up in this. You can totally see him. Smug and arrogant with this playful smirk on his face, he's a seasoned prankster yet his grades are perfect. That's James right there. 

I have to say, the flying hippogriff was one of the best scenes. It was filmed perfectly and just made me believe that it wasn't just special effects, it WAS happening. The world of Harry Potter is real.

Remus right after his 'time of month'.

Pre-series characters. Can you identify all of them?

This was probably in 2nd year. 

I think I've posted this up somewhere but I really like it. 

The signatures of the Marauders. 

Severus Snape single-handedly destroyed every chance he had with Lily. James created chances with Lily and cherished each and every one of them. I think we know who really loves her.

Most people see Harry and Hermione. I see James and Lily.