Okay, so new fanfic to patch up some holes in the previous one. Actually, this fanfic’s from HPFanFiction.com. I got loads of inspiration from this and I decided to share it with you but there were some parts that I didn’t like and I’ve added in some of mine’s. So this Fanfic is really 50-50 and credits goes to the person who wrote it!
This one’s between Fifth Year and Sixth Year. It’s from the perspective of Lily and sometimes James because I thought it should be fun to change for a bit. Oh, and this fanfic’s facts are kind of twisted a bit and Lily kinds of forgives Severus in this one.
And since I haven’t blogged for a while, I’m giving you an extra in this one!
P.S. You’ll find out why James likes Lily in this one! (:
The common room was quiet. Too quiet…
Everyone was at the last Quidditch match of the year, screaming their lungs out for Gryffindor. So why wasn’t I there?
I’ll give you three guesses why. And here’s a hint: It begins with a “P” and ends with “otter”.
It wasn’t that I disliked Quidditch… I just wasn’t obsessed with it like some of the other students here. Plus, I couldn’t stand the way a certain Gryffindor Seeker acted on the field. Blowing kisses to the stands, standing on his broom and pretending to surf just to get applause, and of course, victory laps around the field whenever he caught the bloody Snitch. Whoever he was snogging that day would undoubtedly be in hysterics in the stands, all the other girls would be screaming his name, and today I wanted to spare my poor delicate ears.
Also, the boy I’m secretly dating had asked me to ditch so we could spend some quality time in a broom closet together. Classy, I know.
But hey, I’m only sixteen once, right? I might as well make the most of it.
Plus, it would be good to get some studying in before the inevitable party in the Gryffindor common room after the match. O.W.L.’s were in just two weeks and I’d already fallen way behind on my study schedule.
I tried to concentrate on the open page of my Charms book but my mind kept drifting back to that broom closet… Damn hormones. Snap out of it, Lily!
I finally got myself to focus on the proper theory behind silencing spells when the portrait hole burst open. Two people toppled inside and I immediately recognized them as my best friends, Amy Bones and Mary McDonald.
Amy flopped down onto the couch next to me and let out an exhilarated sigh.
“You missed an amazing match, Lils,” she said, tossing her golden hair out of her face.
“Oh, how would you know,” Mary scoffed, dropping down on my other side with a smile on her face, her frizzy brown hair bouncing. “She spent the entire match flirting with Jacob Warren.”
I giggled as Amy shrugged unabashedly. She may look innocent with her blond hair, freckles and rosy cheeks, but she’s a right little devil when it comes to boys.
“It was a brilliant match though,” Mary amended, a triumphant smile grew on her face.
“Well, I saw the end,” Amy rolled her hazel eyes at Mary. “Jackson did this fake handoff to Davenport and then scored right under Diggory’s nose.”
“And then James caught the snitch. So brilliant,” Mary continued.
I looked from Amy to Mary and raised my eyebrows slightly. Did they forget who they were talking to? I had absolutely no interest in hearing what happened during the match…
“Right, you don’t care,” Amy smiled, catching my drift. “Moral of the story: there’s going to be a massive party in here pretty soon.”
“You’re going to come right?” Mary asked, turning towards me on the couch and peering down at my Charms book. “You’re not just going to shut yourself in the library all night?”
I sighed, glancing sideways at Mary, who batted her long eyelashes at me. Mary was one of those people who always managed to get her way. She didn’t consciously try to, she just had that kind of captivating presence that made it very easy to be around her, but also impossible to say no to her.
I didn’t actually have any desire to spend the evening watching the Marauders drink themselves silly. No doubt Potter would end up snogging some poor girl senseless while his mates cheered him on. I really had no desire to be yet another witness to that…
“Well, I didn’t exactly get as much studying done during the match as I hoped…” I explained, shutting my Charms book.
“Oooh,” Mary giggled. “So how was your songfest with Alex?”
“Shhh,” I hissed at her as a group of fourth years wandered into the common room.
It had been my idea for Alex and I to keep our, erm, relationship a secret. I had never dated anyone at Hogwarts before and I didn’t want people to start talking now that I was… It had just been easier this way so far.
“Details later then?” Amy sighed disappointedly, as some first and second years scrambled through the portrait hole.
I blushed slightly and nodded. “Sure, whatever.”
Mary rolled her eyes at me. “Come on, let’s go get ready before the party.”
“I’ll meet you up there in a few,” I said, opening my Charms book back up. “I want to finish this section.”
Amy shook her head sadly at me and grabbed Mary’s hand, the two disappearing up the stairs to our dorm room.
I flipped the pages of my book to where I left off but was rudely interrupted by someone grabbing the book from my hands.
“Whatcha readin’, Red?” A smooth voice that made my skin crawl said from behind my Charms book.
Urgh. Potter.
“Don’t call me ‘Red’,” I said angrily, snatching my book back and glaring into his hazel eyes.
Much to my displeasure, Potter sat down next to me on the couch, he threw his arm over me like we were a couple. I bet two Sickles that he expected me to snog him after his victorious match or lean over and rest my head on his shoulder at the very least.
“I didn’t see you at the match today,” he commented casually as he ruffled his dark hair. “Or were you so overwhelmed by my mad Quidditch skills that you fainted and had to be rushed to the hospital wing?”
“Ugh, you’re so full of it,” I snarled, staring at the pages of my book. I tried to make myself focus on the words but Potter kept talking.
“So why weren’t you there?” Potter pressed on.
“I was studying,” I shrugged. Well, it was true! I was studying… studying the inside of Alex Johnson’s mouth, that is.
“You’re coming to the party tonight, though,” Potter said, phrasing it more as a statement than a question.
“I haven’t decided yet,” I said, trying my best to just tune him out. He was like a mosquito, always buzzing around me, annoying me to death. I just wanted to swat him.
“Come on,” Potter rolled his hazel eyes at me. “Put off being a antisocial recluse for just one evening and have some fun, will you? Plus, I’ll be there, so that’s always a bonus.”
“Right, well now I’m definitely not coming,” I muttered, closing my book and tucking it under my arm. I pushed myself off the couch and shrugged off his arm as hard as I could. Potter watched with an amused expression on his face.
“You’re sassy tonight,” he commented, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“And you’re an narcissistic goon,” I replied before skirting around the couch and heading towards the stairs. I heard Potter chuckle lightly behind me as I stormed up the stairs.
I took the stairs two at a time and pushed open the door to the dorm I shared with four other girls.
Amy and Mary were fighting over the mirror in the corner next to my bed and I tossed my Charms book on top of my trunk, making a loud thump! Amy and Mary jumped at the noise and whirled around towards me. I nearly laughed out loud when I saw Mary’s face and then the reason that my friends had been fighting over the mirror suddenly became abundantly clear.
Mary was holding a tube of mascara in one hand and there was a huge dark blotch just over her left eye.
“Look what she’s made me do,” Mary said angrily, elbowing Amy in the ribs and gesturing to her blackened eye with the tube of mascara.
“I didn’t do anything,” Amy said innocently, a wicked smile on her face. “She was in my way and I needed to fix my hair.”
“I look like I’ve been punched in the face!” Mary wailed, turning back to the mirror and trying desperately to wipe the mascara off which only made it smear even more.
I pulled my wand out of my pocket and grabbed Mary by the shoulders, turning her gently towards me. She gave me her best puppy-dog face, pushing her bottom lip out, her dark blue eyes wide and helpless.
“Help me, Lily,” she whimpered pathetically and I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. But honestly, if you could say “no” to that face then you obviously don’t have a soul.
“Just hold still?” I sighed as I gently rested the tip of my wand against her eyelid. “Evanesco.”
The black inky makeup dissolved and Mary sighed in relief when she looked in the mirror.
“You’re a miracle worker,” Mary said, reapplying her mascara carefully. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You know, if either of you bothered to pay attention in class, you wouldn’t need me anymore,” I said, sitting on the end of my bed and watching my friends get ready.
“That’s not true,” Amy said, wrapping her blond hair around her wand and creating loose curls. “You’re the only one of us that Madam Pince trusts to check out library books. We still need you for that.”
“You guys are awesome friends,” I rolled my eyes, falling back onto my bed.
“Why aren’t you getting ready?” Anna asked catching a glimpse of me flopped on my bed in the mirror.
I lifted my head slightly to give her a skeptical look.
“Well you can’t wear your uniform,” Amy shrugged.
I sighed and laid my head back down, staring at the top of my four-poster bed. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to go downstairs for a bit.
“So how was your afternoon with Alex?” Mary asked, pulling her dark hair into a loose ponytail.
“It was good,” I said, sitting up and tucking my feet underneath me. “We just kind of… snogged for a bit. In a broom closet.”
“Lily Evans, I never would have taken you for a broom closet kind of girl,” Mares giggled.
“So are you two like, dating or what?” Amy asked, finishing with her hair and coming to sit down on my bed next to me. She nonchalantly dropped a pair of jeans and a black top in my lap to put on and I ignored it.
“I’m not sure,” I answered truthfully. “We haven’t really gotten a chance to talk much yet.”
Mary snorted and I glared at her.
“I mean, I think we’re dating,” I shrugged. “We’ve been seeing quite a lot of each other. I can only assume that’s where this is headed… right?”
“Probably,” Amy said, giving the clothes in my lap a little nudge. “Come on, get dressed.”
I sighed and pulled on the dark skinny jeans and plain black t-shirt, not even bothering to look in the mirror.
“Don’t you dare come near me with that mascara,” I warned as Mary took an innocent step towards me, holding the offending tube behind her back.
“Just a little, Lily,” Mary pleaded but I shook my head stubbornly at her. “It’ll make Potter swoon when he sees your beautiful green eyes with this.”
"No way. Mascara is dangerous and I don’t want Potter to swoon,” I backed away from her towards the door, carefully slipping my feet into some black flats. “Stay away! I saw what it did to you!”
“That was Amy’s fault!” Mary called after me as I scurried out the door after Amy before Mary could attack me with the mascara.
I bumped into Amy at the top of the stairs, nearly knocking us both off balance and rolling down the stairs. Well, that would have been quite an entrance to the party.
“I’m only going to stay for five minutes, ten minutes tops,” I said firmly as Amy looped her arm through mine.
Ames let out a musical laugh as we descended the stairs.
“Oh, Lily,” she sighed. “I love how socially stunted you are.”
“I’m not stunted,” I grumbled and Mary caught up to us just as we entered the common room.
It was like it was a whole different room than the one I had just been studying in. The lights had been dimmed and there was music blasting from somewhere. More noticeable was the Quidditch team in the middle of the room with an enormous trophy hoisted into the air for everyone to see.
“Come on,” Mary said over the noise, towing us towards a table in the corner. “Let’s get something to drink.”
I lingered back as Mary and Anna grabbed some bottles from the table.
“Erm, no thanks,” I wrinkled my nose as Mary offered me a bottle of the Marauder Party’s favorite Firewhiskey. She just shrugged and put it back on the table. I couldn’t afford to have a hangover tomorrow with O.W.L.s just a few weeks away.
“Oh Merlin, will you look at Anthony Davenport?” Amy said, pulling Mary and I around the room.
“What happened to Jacob Warren?” Mary giggled as Anna continued to stare at the 7th year Quidditch player.
“Who?” Amy asked absentmindedly.
Mary rolled her eyes at me as Amy took off across the room towards her next victim.
“Aaaand that’s the last we’ll see of her tonight,” I laughed and Mary and I leaned up against the wall, taking in our surroundings.
“Looks like James has found his next victim as well,” Mary nodded towards the center of the room where Potter was participating in a rather passionate embrace with a dark-haired sixth year.
I let out a disgusted sound at the sight and turned away. Leave it to Potter to snog a girl brainless and not to mention, put me off my appetite.
“He could at least find a room, or a secluded corner or something,” I wrinkled my nose.
“I can’t wait to see his reaction when he finds out about you and Alex,” Mary sighed, shaking her head in his direction. “He’s gonna have a field day.”
I stared at her for a minute, then turned back to Potter.
“Um… Hello!” I waved my hands in front of her face and gestured back at the conjoined blob that was slowly making its way towards the couch. “I don’t think he’ll care too much.”
“Oh, please,” Mary scoffed, turning towards me. “You’re so naïve.”
“Excuse me?” I blinked at her.
“You know he’s only doing that to get under your skin,” Mary said carelessly, taking a drink from her bottle. “He wants you to be jealous, you know, regret all the times you’ve turned him down.”
“I really doubt that,” I scowled, watching as Potter and the brunette sink down onto the couch.
“Whatever, I’m going to go find Sirius,” Mary shrugged. “Think you’ll be okay on your own for a few?”
I elbowed her in the ribs and she smiled devilishly at me before disappearing into the crowd. Mary and Sirius had known each other since they were practically in diapers. They had grown up a few houses down from each other and even though Sirius Black and his fellow Marauders drove me to insanity daily, she had always somehow remained close to him.
I looked around the room, spotting Remus Lupin leaning against the opposite wall. He was the only Marauder that I could actually stand to be around. He, like me, was a prefect and after many late night patrols we had formed a kind of friendship. Although, those bonds dissolved instantly anytime James Potter was around.
“Enjoying the party?” I asked coming up next to Remus. He turned towards me with a goofy grin on his face, his light brown hair falling haphazardly into his pale blue eyes that were unusually glassy and unfocused.
“Oh Merlin, you’re drunk already, aren’t you?” I muttered and Remus laughed.
“I’ve only had a few shots of Firewhiskey,” Remus slurred and I rolled my eyes.
“Aw, I was counting on you to be a source of decent conversation tonight,” I scowled playfully at him.
“I can still converse,” Remus huffed, pretending to be offended as he raised his drink pompously. “What would like to talk about? Philosophy? Politics? Fashion?”
I let out a snort of laughter.
“Oh? And what do you know about fashion?” I chuckled as Remus frowned slightly.
“You’re right, I’m too drunk to have this conversation,” Remus agreed, taking a large swig from his bottle.
“Your mates seem to be having quite the time,” I commented, nodding towards Potter who was now horizontal on the couch.
“Oooh, don’t mind Prongs,” Remus shook his head, clapping a hand on my shoulder making my knees buckle slightly. “He’s just having a bit of fun.”
“He’s horizontal,” I frowned, ignoring the reference to their idiotic nicknames. Prongs? What was he, a fork?
“Does that bother you?” Remus asked, his mouth turning up in a sly smile.
“No,” I said forcefully. “But I never want to sit on that couch ever again.”
“Ah, that’s my boy,” Sirius Black sauntered up to his with his arm around Mary and a half-empty bottle of Firewhiskey clutched in his other hand.
“I can’t believe you two,” I said, crossing my arms. “You’re letting him make a complete arse of himself.”
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, we’re also letting Wormy make a complete arse of himself, too,” Sirius said nodding towards the corner where Peter Pettigrew, the fourth Marauder, was doing a kind of jig on the table while people clapped and cheered him on.
“Jelly-legs jinx,” Black winked at me and I rolled my eyes.
“Oh come on, lighten up, Evans,” he said, his grey eyes twinkling at me in the dim light. “You’re just jealous ‘cos no one here wants to have a snog with you.”
“Oh, please,” Mary interjected, shrugging Black’s arm off her shoulder. “Plenty of people want to snog Lily.”
“Oh yeah?” Remus raised his eyebrows at me. “Like who?”
I shot an angry look at Mary.
“Erm… just, plenty of people,” I stuttered, hoping they didn’t press the matter. Urgh, its times like these that I think Alex and I should take our relationship out of the shadows. If they knew I was snogging him maybe they’d lay off.
“Hate to burst your bubble, Red, but Severus Snape doesn’t count,” Black cocked his head to the side and I felt my face burn.
“Severus does not fancy me,” I huffed.
“Yes, he does,” Black and Remus said at the same time, nodding their heads in sync with each other.
“Ease up, will you?” Mary elbowed Sirius in the gut and he doubled over. “They’re just friends…. Though I don’t understand why…”
I ignored that last bit from Mary, but was grateful that she at least was coming to my defense. Ames and Mary had never really understood my friendship with Severus; I didn’t expect them to. It was… complicated with him. But that’s a whole other matter for another time.
“Slughorn doesn’t count either,” Sirius went on, and Remus choked on his Firewhiskey.
“Ew, he’s a professor, Sirius,” Mary squealed and I shuddered at the thought of kissing the gigantic mustache of our Potions Master.
“But those are the only two people I can think of who’d want to snog Lily,” Sirius shrugged and I gave him my best death glare.
“Well, as much fun as it is to stand here and listen to you two idiots talk about who does and doesn’t want to snog me, I think I’m going to go back upstairs,” I said, pushing myself away from the wall.
“But the party’s only just started!” Mary whined, and I could sense that she was about to unleash the full force of her puppy-dog eyes on me. I quickly turned away and made my way through the crowd.
“I said I’d stay five minutes, didn’t I? That was at least six…” I called at her over my shoulder.
I passed by the couch and Potter sat up briefly, the brunette rolling off him onto the ground with a thud!
“Evans! You came!” Potter exclaimed happily as his former snog partner huffed at him from the floor.
“And now I’m leaving,” I said turning away from him.
“’Night, Red!” Potter called after me and I winced at the nickname as I darted up the stairs to my dorm. So much for a nice relaxing night of studying for my O.W.L.s
I woke up the next morning before any of the other girls in my dorm. I hadn’t heard Amy or Mary come back last night, but when I looked over at their beds they were asleep under their covers.
Margaux Littleton and Jasmine Summers, the other two girls in our year were still asleep too, so I quietly got out of bed and dressed myself.
I was supposed to meet Alex this morning before breakfast so I quietly snuck down the stairs and into the common room.
I stopped at the foot of the stairs, taking in the site of the completely blown up common room. Armchairs and couches were flipped over, the fireplace was oozing butterbeer and the rugs and carpets were hanging off the walls. McGonagall would have a fit if she saw this.
I heard some gentle snoring coming from somewhere and I peered over the couch, a mischievous smile creeping onto my face when I recognized the sleeping lump as James Potter.
Sirius was draped over an armchair in the corner, Remus was nowhere to be found, and Peter was curled up on the table, his legs twitching slightly.
I kneeled down next to the couch, being careful to be quiet. Potter’s breathing was steady, his messy dark hair stuck up all over the place and his black-rimmed glasses were clutched loosely in his hand that was spilling over the edge of the couch.
I leaned forward slightly to that my mouth was dangerously close to Potter’s face.
“Good Morning!” I shouted in his ear.
“Whazzat!” Potter jerked upright, almost smacking me in the face with his hand and a giggle escaped my lips as he stared wildly around the room for the source of his abrupt awakening.
He shoved his glasses onto his face and his hazel eyes focused on me kneeling in front of him. Miraculously, Sirius and Peter had slept through all the commotion.
“Ugh,” Potter groaned, laying his head back down on the couch, gazing back at me with his half-closed hazel eyes. “Morning, Evans.”
“Have fun last night?” I asked loudly, smiling as he pressed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples, he smelled ridiculously strong of Firewhiskey.
“Has your voice always this shrill? And loud?” Potter mumbled, rolling over onto his back and draping his arm over his eyes.
“Aw, I think someone’s hung-over,” I said, making sure that my voice was as shrill as I could get it. I mussed his hair roughly before getting back to my feet.
“I hate you,” Potter groaned, remaining motionless on the couch.
“And I hate you too,” I said fondly, watching as his mouth twitched in a smile. I turned on my heel and slipped out of the portrait hole.
I walked quickly down the empty halls towards the front doors where I was supposed to meet Alex. I turned the corner in front of the Great Hall and my breath caught in my chest when I spotted him.
I still wasn’t used to the feeling I got when I saw him; that feeling in my stomach like when you miss a step going down stairs. Alex heard my steps and turned towards me, giving me a lopsided smile that made my heart stop.
Alex was a fifth year, like me, but in Hufflepuff. His dark brown hair fell just above his bright blue eyes that sparkled in the morning sunlight.
He grabbed my hand when I came within reach and pulled me through the large oak front doors without a word. The warm spring air whirled around me, intoxicating me with its sweet scent as Alex pulled me across the grounds towards the owlery.
“Alex, where are we going?” I giggled as our feet squished through the soft earth.
“It’s really nice out today,” Alex called over his shoulder, shooting me another heart-stopping smile. “I have the perfect spot.”
We reached the large owlery tower but instead of ascending the stairs, he pulled me around the back of the tower where the edge of the forbidden forest loomed.
“Alex, I wanted to talk to you about something first,” I said nervously when we stopped walking. After my conversation with Ames and Mary last night about my relationship with Alex, I wanted to clear things up.
“We can talk in a minute,” Alex said taking a few steps towards me and my mind went fuzzy. I couldn’t think anything intelligible when he was so close to me.
I blushed and looked towards the lake that was still slightly visible from where we stood. I wasn’t very good at this whole romance thing, yet.
I felt Alex’s fingers trace my jaw and lift my chin up towards him. My eyes flitted back to his face just briefly before I closed my eyes and let his lips touch mine.
The novelty of kissing someone for the first time was still there and my skin tingled at his touch. I was still new at this and I never wanted to stop. I brought my hands up to his face, feeling like I could go on like this for hours. But somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that there was something I had wanted to ask him…
What was it I wanted to talk about? Everything in my brain was so messed up and all I could concentrate on was the way Alex laced his arms around my back, pulling me closer.
“Alex,” I breathed, trying to break off our kiss.
“Mmm,” Alex murmured absently, moving in for another kiss.
“Wait,” I said, bringing my hands around to the front of his face and pushing it slightly away from me
“Wahfudoin,” Alex tried to say something but my hand was covering his mouth. I let out a small laugh and dropped my hands from his face.
“Sorry,” I smiled innocently at him. “I just wanted to ask you something and if you keep kissing me like that I’ll never remember it.”
Alex sighed and unwound his arms from around me, leaning his shoulder against the owlery.
“Everything ok?” Alex asked, frowning slightly, obviously peeved that I’ve broken off our snog session.
I nodded and bit my lip, trying to re-compose myself.
“Erm… I was just wondering,” I started, dropping my eyes to my feet. I felt myself blush before I’d even said the words and I hoped Alex didn’t notice. “What exactly… are we?”
I glanced up at him and he was watching me carefully, his eyes squinted slightly as if he were thinking really hard about something.
“Err… I don’t know,” Alex said truthfully. “What did you… want to be?”
“Well,” I stuttered. “I thought maybe we shouldn’t keep this—us—a secret anymore, for a start…”
Alex nodded and I couldn’t tell if he was just considering the idea or saying yes to it.
“So would that make me your…boyfriend, then?” Alex asked, his blue eyes twinkling in the hazy sunlight.
“Only if you want to be,” I said quickly, not wanting him to be pressured into it.
“So then I guess you would be my girlfriend,” Alex said, taking a step towards me, one corner of his mouth turning up in a smile.
“Only if you want me to be,” I said again meekly, my brain going spazzy at his proximity.
“I want you to be,” Alex smiled, his fingers lightly entwining with mine. Did he have any idea the effect he had on me? It was like I lost all my senses when I was around him. I’d never felt anything that powerful before… but I suppose that kind of goes along with the whole first romance thing…
“So, er…” Alex said quietly in my ear, giving me goose bumps.
“Oh!” I gasped, catching his drift. “Right! Snogging!”
Alex laughed loudly at my spazziness but I silenced him by pressing my lips to his. Maybe I was better at this whole romance thing than I thought…
An hour of snogging later and my lips were about ready to fall off. Alex and I agreed to take a break and get some breakfast. Plus, I was eager to tell Mary and Amy about what had happened this morning.
“What are you up to after breakfast?” Alex asked, our clasped hands swinging carelessly between us as we walked back up to the castle.
“I have to do some major studying for O.W.L.s,” I said, trying not to think of all the hours I’d have to spend in the library to make up for yesterday.
“I thought maybe we could hang out later?” Alex said, pulling me up the stone steps towards the front door.
“Oh,” I said, frowning. “I just have a lot of studying to do. I didn’t get anything done yesterday…”
“Oh,” Alex said, his face falling slightly. I wasn’t trying to blow him off or anything, I really did have to study… I couldn’t afford to let myself get distracted with exams so close…
We pushed open the front doors and people were filtering into the Great Hall for breakfast. Alex reached down for my hand again but a figure ascending the stairs from the dungeons made me quickly pull my hand away.
Severus Snape, along with two other Slytherin boys were heading towards the Great Hall. Severus’s dark hair had fallen over one side of his face and I was pretty sure he hadn’t noticed me standing by the door.
“You go on ahead,” I said quickly to Alex. “I need to talk to Severus.”
“Severus Snape?” Alex asked, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. “Why on earth d’you need to talk to him?”
“We’re kind of… friends,” I explained hastily. “I just haven’t seen him in a couple days. I want to catch up.”
Alex shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets, shaking his head like he still didn’t understand. He wandered off into the Great Hall and I hurried up behind Severus.
“Hey, Sev,” I said tugging on his sleeve.
Severus turned, along with the other two Slytherins who I recognized as Mulciber and Avery. The latter two gave me dirty looks and turned away, gesturing to Severus that he should do the same.
“Go on,” Sev told them and they turned back towards us incredulously. “I’ll meet you inside.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, irritated already at the Slytherins’ behavior.
Severus waited until his friends were out of site and he turned back to me, his face splitting into a smile.
“Hey Lily,” He said warmly and I frowned at him.
“Are you done?” I said acidly, my eyes flitting towards the Great Hall.
“Done with what?” Severus asked, his dark eyes were intent on my face.
“That little show for your friends?” I said without humor. “I can’t believe you’re still hanging around with them. You know what creeps they are.”
“They’re not that bad,” Severus tried to defend them, but I didn’t buy it. Mulciber and Avery had a bad reputation for cursing people—specifically muggle-borns.
“Where have you been lately? I haven’t seen you all week,” I said, trying to change the subject. Sev and I had exhausted the topic of his friends over the past year and I just wanted things to be normal between us again. I wanted it to be like when we were kids. No complications.
“I’ve just been… studying,” Severus shrugged and I narrowed my eyes at him. I could always tell when he was lying to me.
“Come on, Sev,” I said quietly, peering up at his tall lanky figure. He had grown so tall in the past year, and he had let his hair go long. He was starting to look less like the little boy I used to play with and more like, well, a man.
“I’ve… I’ve just been busy,” Severus said, looking down at his feet. “You’ve been pretty out of it yourself, you know.”
“I’ve been studying,” I said quickly, throwing his excuse back at him.
“Is that all?” He asked and I could tell he knew I was hiding something. He knew me so well sometimes, better than I knew myself… it always surprised me.
“Well, no,” I said truthfully shuffling over towards the wall where a stone bench sat. “I actually have something I want to tell you.”
Sev followed me to the bench, his eyes were intent on my face and I felt myself blush again.
“Is everything okay?” Sev asked, concern coloring his tone.
“It’s fine,” I assured him and bit my lip, not really knowing how to continue. “You know Alex Johnson?”
Severus frowned slightly, thinking. “Err, yeah. Hufflepuff, right?”
“Right,” I said, keeping my eyes carefully trained on his face. “Well, he and I have sort of started… dating.”
Sev blinked at me and my face burned in embarrassment.
“You’re… dating him?” Severus repeated hollowly. I knew he wouldn’t be happy about this… he had always been weird anytime I mentioned boys around him. But he was supposed to be one of my best friends, right? I should be able to tell him stuff like this.
We used to tell each other everything.
“Aren’t you happy for me?” I asked, slightly hurt by his reaction even though I thoroughly expected it.
“I… don’t know,” Severus muttered and I frowned at him.
“You don’t know?” I repeated.
“No that’s not what I meant,” Severus said, shaking his head. He looked flustered. “I just… I never pictured you with a guy like Alex Johnson.”
“Well, who did you picture me with, James Potter?” I scoffed, my infamous temper flaring before I could stop it.
“No!” Sev growled angrily and I started a little at his reaction.
I remembered what Sirius and Remus had said last night about Sev liking me… were they right? Was the reason Sev couldn’t picture me with a guy like Alex Johnson because he had been picturing me with… himself? Was that anger in his voice right now caused by my being someone else’s girlfriend?
“Sev?” I said tentatively, reaching a hand up towards his sallow face where I pushed his dark hair out of his eyes. “Are you mad at me?”
“No,” he answered flatly, leaning forward slightly at my touch. “No, I’m not mad at you.”
“Are you sure?” I asked and Sev lifted his hand, grabbing mine where it still lingered on his face. I would have considered holding hands an intimate gesture, had it been anyone but Sev. But he was like a brother to me, it was all so natural.
“I’m not mad,” He assured me. Severus closed his eyes, pressing them shut tightly as if he were trying to suppress something… anger, perhaps? “Just… be careful alright?”
“I’m a big girl, Sev,” I rolled my eyes at him. “I think I can handle a sixteen year old boy.”
“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Sev mumbled and I smiled warmly at him.
“Alex is nice, Sev,” I said. “I don’t think you have to worry.”
Severus nodded and let out a deep breath. He still looked really upset.
“Can I tell you what I did to Potter this morning?” I said, trying to lift his spirits. He perked up at this.
“What did you do?” Sev asked, his mouth twitching in a smile. When in doubt, the best way to cheer up Severus Snape was to relay stories of causing James Potter physical pain.
“Well, I went downstairs this morning and there he was, passed out on the couch, obviously hung-over,” I began my story, watching happily as Severus’s spirits visibly lifted. It felt good to see him smile. I was glad that he had been fairly accepting of my news about Alex and if anything, we always had our hatred of James Potter to bring us together.
* * * *
“Ok, let’s move on to Summoning Spells,” I said, flipping through my Standard Book of Spells Grade 5 book.
“Ugh, I’m completely useless at summoning,” Mary grumbled from the desk she was sitting on.
“All the more reason to practice, right?” I raised my eyebrows at her and she groaned in response.
The three of us had taken over an empty classroom for the afternoon to practice. Professor McGonagall had tried to kick us out but after I nearly had a nervous break down in front of her about not being able to master a simple cheering charm, she had backed out of the room very slowly and left us alone since then.
See kids? Sometimes it pays to be a neurotic psycho.
“You just have to concentrate, Mary,” I said placing the pillow we had been practicing on back on top of the desk.
“Accio!” she jabbed her wand at the pillow but instead, the bottle of ink sitting behind it flew towards her. She ducked with a shriek and the bottle of ink went sailing across the room, smashing into the far wall.
“Nice one,” Ames rolled her eyes as she flicked her wand, repairing the smashed ink bottle.
“Well at least I summoned something,” Mary sighed. “Can we work on something else? I’m too jittery for summoning.”
“Ok,” I said flipping through my book. “Well, we haven’t gone over color changing spells or Patronuses or Alex and I became official this morning.” I let the last part slip out and I winced slightly as Mary and Amy realized what I just said.
“You WHAT?!” Amy shrieked dropping the inkbottle she had just repaired and it smashed into a hundred pieces again.
“I can’t believe we’ve been here for nearly two hours and you’re just telling us this now?” Mary scolded me, hopping off the desk and whacking me on the back of my head.
“Ow,” I muttered, tenderly rubbing my head and Mares stuck her tongue out at me.
“Details, please,” Amy demanded like she had been waiting forever.
“Well, this morning we were snogging behind the owlery,” I started and Mary giggled, interrupting me. I glared at her.
“I’m sorry,” Mary said, her shoulders still shaking in laughter. “It’s just… you pick the oddest places to snog people.”
“Let her finish, please,” Ames scowled at her and then turned back to me.
“Like I said,” I began again, shooting a dirty look at Mary who was still laughing quietly. “We were behind the owlery and I asked him what we were.”
“You asked him that while you were snogging?” Mary asked once she had stopped laughing and broke into a fit of chortles again.
Amy and I both glared at her.
“Obviously we had stopped snogging by then,” I rolled my eyes. “And I said that maybe we shouldn’t keep it a secret anymore and long story short, he called me his girlfriend.”
Ames squealed and hugged me and I felt like I was trapped in some cheesy teen drama movie.
“I’ve never been anybody’s girlfriend before,” I said, shaking my head. I still hadn’t been able to wrap my head around that thought… I was officially Alex Johnson’s girlfriend. Oh Merlin, I can die happy now.
“This is so exciting,” Mary beamed at me and I couldn’t help but smile a little. It was hard to be worried about O.W.L.s when everything else in my life was so good…
“There’s more…?” Amy guessed, studying my face carefully.
“Err… well, I told Severus,” I said. I wasn’t too sure how they would react to that. I never talked about Severus with them.
“And?” Scarlet pressed. “What did he say?”
“I don't know,” I said, frowning at the desk. “He just seemed…upset. Remus and Sirius reckon he fancies me.”
“Of course he does,” Amy said like it was obvious. “We’ve known that since like, third year.”
“I just don’t see it,” I shook my head. “We’re just friends, we’ve always just been friends. He’s never hinted that he wanted something more.”
“And what would have happened if he had?” Mary raised her eyebrows at me.
“Nothing… I’m not interested in him like that,” I assured her, but she still looked skeptical. “Really. It’s just like you and Sirius, right? You grew up together and you’re just friends. There’s nothing romantic about it.”
“Urgh, please don’t compare Snape to Sirius…” Mary grumbled, dropping her violet eyes to the floor. Anna and I exchanged a quick look but said nothing.
“If anything, I’m sure Severus is just glad it’s Alex and not James Potter,” Amy said, trying to lighten the mood. “He’ll come around, don’t worry.”
I nodded, biting my bottom lip as I looked back down at my Charms book.
“Ok, let’s try some color-changing charms,” I suggested, trying to push all thoughts of Alex and Severus from my mind so I could finally concentrate on the exams that lay ahead of me…
I twirled my quill around my fingers, biting my bottom lip and trying to think of anything else I could possibly mention about the distinguishing characteristics of a werewolf. I was almost positive I’d gotten everything.
I glanced up at the giant hourglass at the front of the room. I still had plenty of time left if I thought of anything else. I set my quill on my desk and flipped through the pages of my Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. exam to the front so I could go over all my answers one last time.
I looked up again, noticing that Sev was sitting a few rows ahead of me. His face was bent low over his parchment and he was writing furiously.
I let out a deep sigh and rested my chin on my propped up hand. Severus had been acting strange since I told him about Alex. He was avoiding me. When I would see him in the halls he would abruptly turn the other way and even when I called out to him, he pretended like he didn’t hear.
He couldn’t really be that upset that I’d started dating someone, right? I mean, he knew it had to happen eventually… right?
Or was it those “friends” of his? Maybe they had finally gotten to him. I mean, I heard what happened to Jasmine Summers the other day…
That gorilla Mulciber had hit her with a knee-reversing hex while she was on the grand staircase and she fell down three flights before Remus Lupin caught her. She was still in the hospital wing but Margaux Littleton had told us that she had broken her arms, three ribs, and her ankle.
I sighed and looked back down at my parchment, adding a few lines to my description of a Patronus. Why on earth were Severus friends with those people? And the way they talked about muggle-borns. As if they didn’t deserve to be here…
As if I didn’t deserve to be here...
After the exams had been collected I waited for Ames and Mary outside the Great Hall.
“I’m going to be so bloody happy when all this is over,” Mary grumbled as we walked down the front steps towards the lake. Spring had turned to summer quickly and a warm breeze blew around us. It was perfect weather out and all we had left to study for was Transfiguration.
“Me too,” Amy said as we traipsed across the grass. “I’m pretty sure I got the question about how to spot a Hinkypunk wrong…”
“Ames, we did those in like, third year,” I said, dropping down onto the warm grass.
“Yes, well not everyone has the memory of an elephant like you,” she grumbled and I laughed quietly at her.
“Come on, at least it’s done with now,” I said, pulling my Transfiguration book out of my bag to start studying.
“And apparently you’re not going to give yourself any kind of break,” Mary rolled her eyes at my hefty book.
“The written exam is tomorrow, Mares,” I said reasonably. “And the practical is the day after that. I’ll take a break when everything is over with.”
“You study too much,” Amy shook her head at me as I pulled out all of my notes from the year.
“I do not,” I huffed, glaring up at her.
“When was the last time you saw Alex?” Mary raised her eyebrows at me and I frowned at her.
“A few days ago,” I shrugged. “He knows that grades are important to me. He understands…”
“He must be a freaking saint,” Amy muttered and I ignored her, looking back down at my notes.
“Uh oh…” Mary mumbled and I looked up at her confused. She was looking behind Ames and I at something and we both turned to follow her gaze.
“Oh dear…” Amy whispered when she realized what Mary was talking about.
Across the grounds by the lake, a crowd was gathering around a smaller group of people. I recognized them instantly, it was hard not to after five years. Three of the Marauders stood haughtily in front of a fourth figure, a tall, lanky person with a curtain of dark hair—Severus.
Remus Lupin had apparently chosen to ignore his friends, sitting instead under a tree reading. I felt a small burst of anger towards him.
They were all laughing about something... I narrowed my eyes, trying to see what they were laughing at and suddenly it became very clear.
A bang sounded and I gasped as Severus was lifted off his feet, crumpling to the ground and remaining motionless.
Oh, hell no… James Bloody Potter was definitely a part of this.
I scrambled to my feet and felt something tug on my robes.
“Lils, don’t—“ Mary said hurriedly, but I wrenched my robes out of her grip.
“Let go, Mares,” I said forcefully. “I have to help him.”
“Lily, you’re going to get yourself hexed,” Mary said, her eyes flitting back to the group of boys. “Besides… it’s just Snape.”
“I’m a Prefect, I have to put a stop to this,” I growled, angry that Mary was ok with her friends hexing mine. “Besides, if it were Sirius over there getting cursed, you’d want to stop it, too.”
“That’s different…” Mary muttered. “Sirius isn’t in Slytherin.”
“Well, he’s not much better than them, is he?” I snapped angrily. “I don’t see Sev fighting back while Sirius hexes him for no good reason.”
“Lily, listen to me,” Mary hissed furiously, her blue eyes flashing angrily. “Snape’s a slimy git. Everyone knows it. It’s time you realized it too. And in case you didn’t notice, it was Potter who just hexed him, so leave Sirius out of this.”
“Look, I don’t understand your friendship with him, or any of the Marauders for that matter,” I said hurriedly, cringing as I watched pink soap bubbles issuing from Severus’s mouth. “Just like you don’t understand mine with Severus. But I would understand if you went to Sirius’s defense…”
“Lily,” Mary shoved herself off the ground, her hand gripping my arm tightly. Her face was deadly serious, all of her normal playfulness gone. “You heard what happened to Jasmine. His lot… they hate people like you—muggle-borns. You’re going to get hurt.”
“Sev’s different,” I ignored her, grabbing my wand off the ground.
“Just let her go, Mares,” Ames said putting a soothing hand on Mary’s shoulder as I marched away from them towards the Marauders, thankful that Amy, at least could see that what was happening was wrong.
"POTTER!" I screamed at the top of my voice and everyone watching turned towards me. Anger flashed through me as Potter glanced towards me, his free hand casually ruffling his untidy hair. Stupid, egotistical arse. "Lower your wand right now, or I swear to Godric I'll blast your hands off."
Potter greeted me with a smirk, but I wasn’t paying attention to him anymore. I was staring at Severus who was wiping away the pink soap bubbles from his mouth, gasping for air.
I wanted desperately to help him, to kneel down next to him and make sure he was all right. Severus looked up at me, furry contorting his face and I realized absently that Potter was still talking to me…
Wait…Did Potter just ask me out? He had just asked me out… for real, the git just asked me to go out with him.
Here he was, hexing my oldest friend and he was literally asking me on a date. REALLY?!
"Ugh, I'd rather date the giant squid," I growled at him and Sirius laughed loudly behind him. I didn’t care that Potter’s face fell noticeably as I turned him down yet again. He deserved it. As if I’d ever go out with him.
I turned my gaze quickly back to Severus and my breath caught in my throat. He had his wand gripped in his hand and pointed it at Potter while his back was turned.
Before I could stop him there was a flash of light and the grass was splattered with blood. I looked up, horrified to see a long gash on the side of Potter’s face.
I had forgotten how to breathe as I looked back at Severus, who had a satisfied smile on his face.
What the hell kind of spell was that? Where had he even learned that? I suddenly felt afraid—afraid of whatever it was that possessed Sev to use a spell like that on Potter, as much as he may have deserved it.
Before I could say anything though, Severus was swept off the ground and lifted into the air. I heard Potter laugh bitterly as Severus’s robes fell over his head.
I looked up at Severus, trying very hard not to smile as his graying underpants gave the entire student body a show.
Oh come on, don’t judge me. You’d laugh too. Don’t deny it.
Severus’s body turned slightly towards me and I dropped the smile from my face immediately, but he had already seen. His dark eyes flashed angrily at me as he hung helplessly and I turned towards Potter who was still enjoying Snape’s humiliation.
"Can't you go one day without hexing someone who doesn't deserve it? Leave him alone," I demanded, trying to insert a tone of authority into my voice. I desperately hoped that Severus would be thankful that I was helping him rather than angry that I had almost laughed.
Potter shrugged and flicked his wand, watching as Severus crumpled to the ground. I let out a deep sigh, sure that this whole ordeal was over, but as soon as Severus gathered himself, he was knocked to the ground as Sirius cast a full body bind on him.
“For Merlin’s sake, STOP!!!” I screamed, my insides constricting as I watched Severus’s eyes dart angrily towards me, silently blaming me for letting this happen.
I raised my hand, still clenched around my wand towards Potter and Black who glanced warily at it then back to Snape.
Behind them, the crowd of students watched us intently and I spotted a group of Slytherins including Mulciber and Avery strutting towards us quickly. The last thing I wanted right now was to get more people involved. This needed to end now.
“Let him go,” I said, my voice breaking slightly from the stress of the situation.
“Fine,” Potter said carelessly, dropping his hand and watching as Severus struggled to his feet. “You’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus…” (OOTP, 648).
I winced inwardly at the insulting nickname, but the Slytherins were within earshot now and I saw them slip their wands from their robes. Severus glanced back at them quickly and then turned back towards Potter and Black, his face murderously angry.
“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her (OOTP, 648).”
I froze, my breath escaping me in a whoosh. It felt like I’d been punched in the stomach and had the wind knocked out of me. I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t take my eyes off of Severus, who stared coldly at me.
Severus—my Severus—had just called me a… a… Oh Merlin, I couldn’t even think the word.
The boy who had to convince me when I was nine years old that Hogwarts was a real place, the boy who had told me everything about the magical world, who was so excited to show me how wonderful magic could be…
Maybe it was true… everything Mares said about him. I had spent so much time trying to understand why he hung around people like Mulciber and Avery, why he snuck around the castle at night, how he would know such foul spells like the one he cast on Potter…. And now it made sense.
He was one of them.
How could I not have seen that? Or maybe I had known deep down and just ignored it.
Well I couldn’t exactly ignore it anymore. If that’s the way he felt, I couldn’t change him. He’d chosen his path…
“Fine,” I answered calmly, my voice sounding like someone else’s. “I won’t bother in the future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus (OOTP, 648).”
Snape barely winced as I used Potter’s degrading nickname for him, something I’d never done before. I saw Potter’s eyes widen in surprise at the venom in my voice and then I was vaguely aware that Potter was bellowing at Snape to apologize to me.
But I was done. With both of them.
If that was how Severus saw me, as just some stupid, filthy mudblood, then so be it.
But Potter had done his damage, too. How he still managed to get under my skin at a time like this was beyond me, but I turned on him with a vengeance.
It was as if a demon had taken over my body. Before I could stop myself I was shouting at Potter, claiming he was just as bad as Severus. All the things I’d longed to say to him for the past five years came spilling out of my mouth. It felt good to yell, even though I knew the person I was really mad at was standing just a few feet to the left. But couldn't lie to those coffee colored eyes.
And somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that yelling at Potter wasn’t going to change anything.
Severus had called me a mudblood, cementing in my mind that I could no longer be friends with him. All those times I’d stuck up for him through the years had been in vain. What had been the point, when he would only come to think of me as just some mudblood?
I don’t remember what Potter responded after I had exhausted my list of grievances against him. I didn’t care. The giant squid itself could have risen out of the lake and eaten him and I don’t think I would have batted an eye. I just wanted to get as far away as possible from everything that had just happened.
Before I was aware of it, I was stomping away across the grounds back towards the castle.
“Lily?” Ames asked, her eyebrows knitting together in concern when I got close.
“Lily, are you alright?” Mary sat up on her knees as I approached. Her face was colored with concern and regret.
They heard. They heard everything… and how could they not have? Everyone within a kilometer must have heard. I had screamed at James Potter and Severus Snape had called me a… a…
“You were right,” I said stiffly as I picked up my stuff and continued to storm back to the castle and Mary blinked at me. “You can say ‘I told you so’ now.”
“Er…” Mary glanced over as Amy who shrugged, unsure of what to do. “Maybe we should go back to the dorm too.”
“You were right about him, Mares. About everything…” I stopped on a stone staircase and before I knew it, hot tears were spilling down my cheeks.
“Oh, shh,” Mary scrambled to my side and wrapped her arms around me, pressing me tightly against her small frame.
Despite my best efforts to stop, Mares’s dark hair was soon sleek with my tears but she just kept holding me.
“Lily,” Mary said quietly in my ear. “Just forget about him, alright? He’s not worth it.”
“How could he say that…” I sobbed quietly into her shoulder. “How could he say that to me…”
I felt Ames standing on my other side, leaning against the banisters.
“It was really awful, what he said,” Ames said quietly. “And I'm not defending him...But, he was being humiliated in front of the entire school -- by his sworn enemy, no less. Anyone would snap in that situation. You yourself took quite a few shots at Potter.”
“I did, didn’t I,” I hiccoughed, lifting my head off Mares’s shoulder.
“I particularly liked the bit about his head being too fat for his broomstick,” Mary giggled and Ames let out a laugh.
“I can’t believe I said that,” I muttered, wiping the back of my hand across my cheek and continued my way up the stairs.
“His face was priceless,” Mares smiled. “He looked like he’d just been castrated.”
I smiled halfheartedly as she and Amy continued to describe the verbal thrashing I’d given Potter in front of the entire school but I wasn’t listening.
That one little word had come ripping through my mind and was echoing over and over in my head.
Mudblood, mudblood, Mudblood
I rested my chin on my arms, the grass gently tickling my skin as the warm breeze blew around me. The daisy lying on the grass in front of me shuddered slightly against the breeze; it’s white petals gleaming in the bright sunlight.
I knew I should be practicing for my Transfiguration practical tomorrow. But I honestly didn’t feel like it.
After yesterday all I could think about was… him.
He had come to my dorm last night. Mary had woken me up saying that he was threatening to sleep in the hall if I didn’t talk to him.
It had been a quick conversation. I wasn’t interested in his apologies. It was already done and he couldn’t take it back.
He said he didn’t mean it… he’d just gotten caught up in the moment, angry that Potter had made a laughing stock of him in front of the entire school.
But I was too hurt to even consider his excuses. What’s done was done.
I stared at the flower, watching the petals dance and sway and I reached out a finger to touch one of the petals. The petal blushed pink at my touch and continued to spread through all the other petals. In just a few seconds, the flower had been stained a dark crimson and I removed my finger, watching as the flower slowly returned to it’s natural white.
I sighed, tears pricking behind my eyes. The first time I’d met him, the first time he told me that what I could do was magic, I had been showing my older sister Petunia my trick with flowers.
That was the beginning of everything. When I started believing that maybe there was something more to me than plain old Lily Evans. It was the day Severus and I became friends… and it was the day that Tuney started hating me for it.
“How on earth do you do that?” Ames knelt down next to me and observed the changing flower with awe.
I shrugged, closing my hand around the flower, feeling the petals smush helplessly in my palm. I rolled over onto my back, staring upwards at the cloudless sky.
“Well, when you’re done playing Mother Nature, will you please help me with Transfiguration?” Ames griped, tossing her golden hair over her shoulder.
I grumbled something incoherent and draped an arm over my face, shielding my eyes from the sun.
“My, you’re in a charming mood today,” Mary commented from where she lay on the grass.
“Well, can you blame her?” Ames asked quietly and I grimaced, I had already enough reminders about yesterday.
“New subject, please,” I said flatly, not moving from where I lay.
“Are you still seeing Alex tonight?” Mary asked idly. She knew the absolute last thing I wanted to talk about was a certain Slytherin and I was grateful she hadn’t pressed the subject.
“Yes,” I said, the queasy feeling in my stomach subsiding slightly at the mention of my boyfriend.
“Are things still going well with you two?”
“I think so,” I said slowly. “I mean, we’ve been so busy with O.W.L.s that I haven’t gotten to see him much lately. We’ve both been stressed. But I’m sure it’s fine. Nothing’s changed has it?”
“True…” Mary mused, twirling her dark hair around her finger and she dropped her eyes back to her notes.
“Please help me with this spell, Lily,” Amy begged, kneeling beside me and nudging me slightly. “My parents are going to kill me if I fail my Transfiguration O.W.L.”
“Fine,” I sighed, hoisting myself off the grass and positioning myself next to Anna. “What do you need help with?”
“Avis…” Amy said, consulting her open Transfiguration book. “All that happens is an explosion of feathers out the end of my wand. That’s can’t be right…”
I tried not to laugh at that as I pulled my wand from my pocket and got to my feet.
I raised my wand, bringing it down with a flourish, repeating the incantation. A bang like a gun sounded and several small yellow birds shot out the end of my wand, circling high in the air before fluttering lightly to the ground around me.
“The wand movement needs to be really precise and forceful,” I offered, trying to think of anything else that might help Amy.
She raised her wand, copying my stance and cried the incantation as she brought her wand down. An enormous bang exploded out of her wand, obscuring us in smoke and knocking her off balance. My little yellow birds vanished into the smoke as Amy toppled into me, knocking us both to the ground.
“Oops,” Ames said quietly from on top of me as Scarlet roared with laughter.
“I don’t think you’ll pass your O.W.L. if you blow up your examiner,” A smug voice that I knew too well floated across the lawn to us and Amy scrambled off me as four figures approached our spot by the lake.
I let out an audible groan at the familiar voice. Just what I wanted today: an extra dose of Marauder.
“Go to hell, Potter,” I grumbled, as Amy helped me to my feet. I really should think of some better comebacks… my usual standbys were getting stale. Or maybe my brain was still full of smoke from Amy’s spell.
Mary giggled quietly next to me. Even after yesterday’s stunt, Mary still smiled warmly at Sirius and the other Marauders. I’d be a hypocrite though, if I said she should be just as angry with them as I was.
“Come on, Evans. Lighten up,” Potter said, placing a hand on my shoulder.
I shrugged his hand off my shoulder, crossing my arms to stop myself from hexing him. I was a Prefect after all, and couldn’t be seen hexing people for fun, unlike some people…
I glowered at him and opened my mouth to retort when I saw a dark figure advancing on us from the corner of my eyes.
I whipped my head to the side and then groaned again when I realized who it was. Wasn’t it bad enough that Potter was here right now? I didn’t want to deal with him too.
“Lily, I need to talk to you. Please,” a low, dark voice said. It took my eyes a second to adjust to the sudden shadow that Severus Snape’s body cast over my face.
“Ah! Snivellus!” Potter said gleefully, his face splitting into an even bigger smile. “Come back for more?”
“Hi, Snivelly!” Sirius called happily from where he had sat down with Mary, waving enthusiastically.
“I have nothing to say to you,” I said frostily to Severus, who had turned rigidly away from the Marauders to face me.
“Is he bothering you?” Severus asked me, his long dark hair falling into his face as his dark eyes flickered to Potter and back to me.
“Yes, but I don’t remember asking you for help. I’m perfectly capable of getting rid of him myself,” I said coldly.
“You don’t seem to be doing too good of a job,” Severus retorted darkly.
“Why, because I’m just a mudblood?” I said icily, and I heard a collective gasp from the group standing around us.
“No, that’s… that’s not what I meant!” Severus sputtered, getting flustered.
“Yeah, well you seemed to mean it yesterday,” I said angrily.
“I’ve tried to apologize for that! I was trying to apologize again!” Severus replied anxiously.
“Apologize all you want, it still doesn’t change the fact that you said it,” I stepped lightly away from him.
“Lily, just listen to me,” Severus pleaded. “I’m sorry I called you a… a you-know-what.”
“Sev, please,” I tried to make my voice forceful but it broke on the last word. I couldn’t deal with this right now. “Just leave me alone.”
Severus stared at me for a second, surprised at the venom in my voice. Finally, his shoulders slumped and he gave up. I closed my eyes, willing away the tears that I knew were coming. It was going to take me a long time to get over this, but it had to be done. I couldn’t be friends with him anymore.
“You know, I would never call you that,” Potter sidled up to me as Severus stalked away.
I rolled my eyes, taking a seat in the grass next to Amy.
“No, but you would turn my hair green before every Hogsmeade visit, hang my knickers from the chandeliers in the Great Hall, bewitch my books to sing loudly every time I open them, and pay everyone in our year five galleons to call me ‘Louise’ for a week,” I ticked his indiscretions off on my fingers, naming only the most recent of his attacks.
“Ha, I forgot about Louise…” Mary chuckled and I threw my Transfiguration book at her.
“Not to mention you humiliated my oldest friend in front of the entire school,” I stared angrily at Potter. “Didn’t you get enough yesterday? I thought that verbal thrashing would have been enough to keep you at bay for at least a week.”
“Nah, I know you didn’t mean it. Besides, I wouldn’t have to tease you so much if you’d go out with me,” Potter flashed a brilliant smile at me. It was the kind of smile that made every other girl around here spontaneously combust, but I glared back, immune to his ‘seductive’ powers.
“I’d rather—“
“Date the giant squid, I know,” Potter interrupted me, rolling his bright hazel eyes. “You should pick a more disgusting creature next time if you’re going to try and make a point. Because Reynaldo’s really quite lovely once you get to know him.”
“You named the giant squid Reynaldo?” I said, narrowing my eyes at him, momentarily distracted from my deep hatred of the boy.
“’Course we did,” Sirius shrugged like it was the most normal thing in the world to be on a first-name basis with the giant sea monster that inhabited the lake.
“I’ll make you a deal,” Potter said kneeling onto the grass in front of me, his eyes twinkling and he was doing that idiotic little dimpled smirk at me again. “I’ll stop asking you out when you say yes.”
“Or you could just stop asking me out,” I said pointedly. “I have a boyfriend, anyways. “
“You what!?” All four of the Marauders yelped in unison, causing Mary to jump and accidentally rip a page out of her notes. She whacked Sirius across the head and then went back to studying, completely uninterested in the current conversation.
“She and Alex Johnson have been official for a few weeks now,” Amy said like it was obvious. “I’m surprised you hadn’t heard…”
“I thought you didn’t date Hogwarts boys?” Remus asked, glancing quickly at Potter and then back to me.
“Just because I didn’t date before doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have. No one interesting enough ever asked before Alex,” I shrugged, watching with satisfaction as Potter winced slightly at that.
“Well, it’s not it’s going to last,” Potter sneered, regaining himself. “I told you before, he’s a loser.”
“And why not?” I asked, my fingers curling tightly around my wand.
“He’s a Hufflepuff, Evans,” Potter said. “Everyone knows they’re gutless prats.”
“Alex isn’t gutless,” I said through clenched teeth.
“In Care of Magical Creatures last year a bowtruckle took a swipe at him and he fainted. Like actually fainted…” Sirius laughed and Peter dissolved into giggles. Remus, who had settled himself under a tree, was eyeing his friends warily.
“And the cockatrice? He was so scared of it he was almost crying,” Potter said, a smile spreading across his face. “Come to think of it, they were all crying…”
Peter laughed even harder, and Remus remained unmoved beneath his tree, his face now hidden completely behind his Transfiguration book.
My fingers tightened around my wand as I uncrossed my arms and aimed it directly at Potter.
“How about I turn you into a cockatrice, Potter,” I said angrily, watching with satisfaction as a hint of intimidation flashed across Potter’s face. “Wouldn’t be laughing so hard then, would you?”
“Going to hex me, Evans?” Potter asked calmly, his eyes locked on mine. “Or seeing if you’re better at Transfiguration than me?” He pulled out his mahogany wand, “See this, Evans? Ollivander says it was the best wand for Transfiguration he has ever made. Try it.”
For a moment, I seriously considered it; the image of Potter’s head attached to the top of the chicken-like creature was very tempting. I was still harboring some major animosity from yesterday, but out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure walking towards us. A tall, brown haired figure with a gold badge pinned to his robes…Alex.
“No,” I said lowering my wand, and pushing myself off the ground. “Not today…”
Alex closed the distance between us and I threw my arms around him, my happiness at the sight of him overwhelming.
“Alex, it’s been ages. I’m so glad you’re here,” I sighed, leaving my arms draped around his neck. “I haven’t seen you since Tuesday. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve just been studying,” Alex shrugged, eyeing the Marauders warily.
“Let’s go for a walk,” I suggested, noticing Potter’s and Black’s eyes on us.
“So…how are your exams going?” I asked, trying to strike up conversation. “I’m so glad they’re almost done. I should have studied more though… I felt totally unprepared for History of Magic.”
Alex didn’t respond and I glanced around us, making sure we were alone. I didn’t understand why he still had that impassive expression on his face. It made me uncomfortable to see him looking so serious. He wasn’t normally like this… His exams must really be stressing him out.
We had stopped along a low stonewall that joined with the owlery, the same spot where we had first decided to be official.
I sat down on the wall, my eyes following his every move. Why wasn’t he looking at me?
“I think we need to talk,” Alex said, sitting on the low stonewall next to me. My heart thudded loudly.
Oh, no.
“Erm…” Alex shook his head, as if he were trying to get his thoughts straight. I kept my eyes down, not wanting to see his face anymore.
“Just say it, Alex,” I said quietly, forcing myself to speak. I didn’t want to believe what he was about to do, but it was hard to misread his body language anymore. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t realized it sooner. He hadn’t been studying the past couple days… he’d been avoiding me.
I mean, come on universe. What else can you throw at me?
“Look,” Alex said, and I could feel his eyes on me, though I didn’t return his gaze. “I don’t think… I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”
It felt like ice had flooded through my body and a sick feeling wound its way into my stomach. This feeling was familiar… I’d felt it yesterday with Severus. Why was this happening?
I would never hear the end of this from the Marauders… dumped. By a Hufflepuff, no less. And single once again. But wait… was I seriously thinking about the Marauders right now? Alex was breaking up with me.
“Oh,” was all I could manage.
“It’s just…not working out,” Alex said letting out a deep sigh.
“That’s it?” I said angrily, my temper rising. “I mean…just a few weeks ago you said you wanted me to be your girlfriend…”
“That’s not really—“ Alex started but I cut him off.
“Alex,” I said staring at him furiously. “You owe me more explanation than that.”
“I don’t know what to say,” he said, breaking eye contact.
“Merlin, Potter was right, you lot are gutless,” I burst angrily, shoving myself off the wall and starting to walk away.
“I slept with Katie Bishop,” I heard Alex say quietly and I stopped dead in my tracks.
I heard him wrong… I must have heard him wrong!
I pressed a hand over my mouth, as if that would stop the tears that I knew were coming.
“You what?” I whispered, slowly turning back towards him, tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. My head was suddenly swimming with images of the Katie Bishop, the sixth year Hufflepuff with her tall slim figure and dark hair.
“It just kind of…happened,” he said, not meeting my eyes. I felt the tears trail down my blazing cheeks now but I didn’t bother stopping them.
“How could you do something like that?” I whispered, unable to banish the unwanted images from my head.
“I don’t know…it was just…she was there and you… weren’t. And she was… different,” Alex muttered lamely, still staring at his hands.
“Different?” I repeated incredulously. “Different than what?”
“Well…. You,” Alex said slowly, still not meeting my bloodshot eyes. “This thing, you and I, well…You’re not really what I expected, I guess.”
“What did you expect?” I asked in a hurt, shaky voice. I kept waiting for this nightmare to end. Why wasn’t I waking up? This had to be a nightmare! First Severus and now this? What could I possibly have done to deserve this? Wasn’t losing my oldest friend bad enough for now?
But sure, go ahead and throw in a cheating boyfriend. No big deal.
“I don’t know… I guess I didn’t expect you to be so… serious about everything. School, Prefect duties… you take it all so seriously. We’re only barely sixteen, Lily,” Alex said quietly, avoiding my gaze. “You’re smart, and that’s one of the reasons I liked you to begin with but you can be really… intense about it sometimes, and kind of a know-it-all.”
A know-it-all? Well, I’d definitely heard that before. The Marauders called me that and a thousand other names on a regular basis but for some reason it hurt a lot more hearing Alex use it as a reason to not be with me…
“And I thought maybe once we started dating that… I don’t know,” Alex broke off shaking his head. “I mean, I know we’ve all been stressed with exams, but it’s like even so, you never put any effort into your appearance. You don’t even try. I need someone I’m not embarrassed to be seen with.”
“Excuse me?” I blinked, completely dumfounded by his words. So I wasn’t pretty enough too? He was actually embarrassed to be seen with me. I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach.
“I’m sorry,” Alex said slowly, and I couldn’t help doubting whether he meant it. “She was there and she was interested, and you just never seemed to be interested, you know, like that anymore – you’re always studying.”
“So its my fault then,” I said, my voice shaking with anger. “Because I’d rather spend my time studying than shagging you in a broom closet or slathering on makeup like some filthy slag?”
Alex said nothing. He sat there, staring at his hands for a moment until he stood up and looked at me sadly.
“I’m sorry,” he said, dropping his eyes. “It wasn’t working out anyways, whether I slept with her or not. I am really sorry that it had to end like this though…”
When I didn’t say anything, he shoved his hands into his pockets and walked away, leaving me standing there alone.
I stared after him until he was out of sight. I was speechless. My heart was thumping wildly in my chest. I could hardly believe that just happened. Alex…saying all those things. My Alex…well, not anymore. He had barely been my Alex and yet somehow this hurt more than anything else I’d ever experienced.
Well, almost.
If someone had told me a week ago that Alex was going to cheat on me, I would have hexed him or her into oblivion. Now I didn’t know what to believe.
Everything was being turned upside down. I felt like I was losing my grip on reality. I had been wrong about Severus, I had been wrong about Alex… what else was I wrong about?
Alex’s words kept running through my head… a know-it-all, too perfect, too intense, not pretty enough. The words stung as they repeated over and over in my head. Now, I wanted to just bury myself somewhere deep in the Forbidden Forest.
Not pretty enough…of all the things he’d said, that hurt the most. I’d heard everything before, mostly from the Marauders. But I’d always thought that I was at least interesting looking. I mean I didn’t spend hours brushing my hair; I usually kept it pulled back in a ponytail. It was just easier that way. And I’d never felt like I needed makeup. I knew I shouldn’t dwell on it… if he didn’t want me…then fine!
I wiped the stale tears from my cheeks and willed my bloodshot eyes to return to their normal bottle green.
I walked slowly back towards my friends. I felt like I was in someone else’s body. I couldn’t feel anything…
I’d hoped the Marauders had left by now, but my hopes sank when I saw that Mary and Ames still weren’t alone. Well, I wasn’t about to tell them what happened with Alex in front of the Marauders.
Ames and Mares looked up expectantly as I approached them and I saw them exchange worried looks at my obviously still bloodshot eyes.
“Are you okay, Lily?” Ames asked as I sat stiffly on the ground in between her and Mary.
“I’ll tell you later,” I muttered so only they could hear.
“How’s pretty-boy Hufflepuff?” Potter sniffed as he continued twirling his wand around his fingers. I wish I could Transfigure it into something gross, like a worm.
I ignored him and instead held out my hand letting one of my remaining yellow birds hop carefully into my open palm.
“Come on, then,” Potter goaded me as I tapped the bird with my wand, turning it to stone. “Didn’t he want to come back and study with us? Or is he still sore about the Quidditch finals? Honestly, it was a pretty embarrassing loss. I think that was the shortest match in Hogwarts history.”
“Maybe saw a flobberworm and died of fright,” Sirius said, warranting a snort of laughter from Peter.
I clenched my teeth, muttering “Piertotum Locomotor”. The little stone bird fluttered its granite wings, turning its small head this way and that.
Ignore them, Lily, just ignore them, I thought, concentrating very hard on the bird.
“Well, flobberworms are pretty fearsome,” Potter said gravely, watching my little stone bird wander curiously through the grass. “Their lack of teeth and general slimy-ness are enough to make even the strongest man tremble in fear.”
“Shut up, will you?” Ames hissed, noticing that my knuckles had turned white from gripping my wand so hard.
“Finite,” I muttered, and the little stone bird stopped moving, frozen with its wings stretched out, about to take flight.
“Why? It’s not like we’re insulting him to his face,” Sirius said innocently, his silver eyes sparkling in the sun.
“Oh, you say that like you haven’t insulted him to his face,” Mary rolled her eyes at him.
“Hey, its not our fault if he overheard us talking about him that one time,” Potter said shrugging.
“Nosy git couldn’t help it with those big ears,” Sirius muttered, and Potter let out a laugh.
I flicked my wand, meaning to vanish the little stone bird but instead the statue exploded into a thousand pieces.
“Hey, watch it, Evans,” Potter hissed, shielding his face against the debris. “I don’t think your examiner will be too pleased if you embed shards of stone in his brain.”
“Ah, I think she’s just mad ‘cos we’re having a go at her boyfriend,” Sirius smirked.
“He’s not my boyfriend anymore, all right?” I said sharply, flicked my wand again, vanishing the shards of stone. “We just broke up.”
“What?!” Mary and Ames both shrieked, making me jump.
“Doth mine ears deceive me?” Sirius said theatrically, holding a hand up to his ear. “Did you really say that you’ve split up with the gutless wonder? Well, that was fast.”
“Sirius this isn’t funny,” Mary snapped angrily, punching his arm.
“Well it’s a little funny,” Potter said, shrugging playfully, his voice considerably more cheerful. “Say, Evans. Since you’re single now…“
“I swear to Godric, Potter, if you ask me out I will hex you,” I growled, my hand gripping my wand tightly in the pocket of my robes.
I was on my feet now, anger suddenly coursing through me... Anger at Alex for what he’d done, anger at Potter for existing, anger at Severus for betraying me, anger at this whole damn situation and this whole damn week…
I became aware that Ames was tugging at my robes, trying to pull me away from Potter.
“Come on, Lily, let’s go inside,” she whispered urgently at me.
I stared murderously at Potter for a minute before loosening my grip on my wand. Finally I gave in and let her steer me across the sloping lawn towards the castle, with Scarlet close behind.
“You really need to loosen up, Evans. Have a little fun,” I heard Potter call after me. “I could show you a good time…”
Before Ames or Mary could stop me, I had whipped out my wand and with a bang, Potter was sprawled on his back. Dark grey tentacles had replaced his legs and he clutched at them frantically as little suctions sprung up all over the underside.
“If you love the Giant Squid so much, why don’t you go join him?” I shrieked at him, while Ames tried with no success to pull me towards the castle.
“Well, seeing as I’m practically am a squid now, will you go out with me?” Potter yelled back at me. Sirius roared with laughter and Remus glanced warily over his book at the scene in front of him before lowering his eyes and pretending that one of his best mates wasn’t slowly turning into a cephalopod.
I growled in anger and flicked my wand again, watching in delight as Potter started spewing thick, black ink everywhere.
“James! You inked on me!” Sirius yelped, leaping away from his friend and then howling in laughter as Peter got a face-full of ink. I could have sworn I saw Remus laughing silently as he held up his enormous book to shield himself from the onslaught of ink.
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