The biting coldness woke me up. I could hear the heavy rain splashing against the beech leaves above me then quickly seeping down, soaking through my white blouse.
Bloody hell, this is way too cold for April, I cursed as I quickly got up and pulled my rain jacket from my drenched bag. I knew I shouldn’t have fallen asleep under that tree in the evening but who could say no to the warm sunshine? I glanced up to the gleaming lights of the Hogwarts castle in the gloom. I sighed, it seemed so far away from where I was standing.
I pulled the two halves of the jacket closer and darted from under the beech tree. The rain was already soaking in through my jacket, making my skin go numb. The wind was worse, it nipped against my exposed calves and chilled me to the bone. I couldn’t feel my cheeks or nose anymore. My teeth started to chatter as the wind swirled through my robes.
I kept running but it was hard to sprint along the slippery grass. I could barely keep myself from slipping and soon, my shoes were caked in mud. I looked up again and was discouraged to see that the Hogwarts front doors were still miles away. I splashed through a particularly huge mud puddle but something caught my foot and I fell face first to the mud.
Or I would have.
Something grabbed at my shoulders just seconds before I had a complimentary mud mask and pulled me back on my feet and steadied feet.
“Watch it, Evans,” a familiar voice sounded above me.
“James?” I tilted my chin and saw him hovering slightly above me on his broomstick, wearing his Quidditch robes. Despite the cold that made his shiver, he had his usual grin on his face and his eyes were glowing, even in the dark. I studied his face carefully. There was something behind that grin. He was smiling a bit too much for a cold night. I tracked the feeling down like a shining stream. Was it fondness that showed? Caring, possibly?
I blinked. Seriously? Please don’t let this be a joke. Then I noticed one of his arms was crooked and seemed to be lifting something. I realized he was carrying a red umbrella over me. It was the exact same shade as my hair. It stood out against the gloomy sky and somehow, it made me smile.
“Um, thanks…” I muttered, unsure of what to say.
He laughed and ran his hand through his unruly black hair, “Come on, Evans. Let’s go back in before you turn into a Lilysicle.”
We walked slowly back to castle. Or at least, I did. James floated back on his Nimbus, still carrying the umbrella that was surprisingly effective against the torrents of rain or maybe I was too absorbed in my thoughts.
So James might, maybe, finally, possibly, probably, likes me now?
But what did he mean back in March?
“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, wincing slightly. I was about to argue that, but he ran his hands distractedly through his hair. “I really shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry, I—I have to go.”
He felt guilty about cheating on Carly Carrington, didn’t he?
Or maybe he feels guilty about not realizing his feelings for you earlier, a small hopeful voice spoke gently in my head. It sounded a lot like Mary.
We finally reached the Entrance Hall. I waited for him to get off his Nimbus and dry himself with a blast of hot air from his wand. Questions buzzed in my head. I should ask him now. It’s now or never.
“Hey, James,” I started, my palms were damp already. What was he going to say?
“Hm?” he responded absent-mindedly as we started towards Gryffindor Tower.
“So…are you still with Carly?” I asked tentatively, hopefully nothing was revealed in my voice. I studied his eyes warily, searching for a clue.
“Nah,” he said after a while, to my disappointment, he hadn’t revealed too much either. “We broke up at the start of April.”
Some time after he kissed me, I noted.
“Why?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.
“It wasn’t working out,” he mumbled and became particularly interested in his shoes.
“Oh, okay,” I replied lamely.
“And, Lily… About what happened with me and Carly,” James sounded strangely uncomfortable as we climbed up the staircases to the tower. “Sirius and your friends were right. I didn’t like Carly. I like you.”
I stopped dead. Did I hear that correctly? I spun around to look at him straight in the eye. He cringed like he was expecting a curse.
“So that’s why you broke up?”
“Yeah, kind of.”
We were just standing there now, looking at each other. James had an apologetic look on his face while I supposed I look like an awestruck rabbit. How on earth was I supposed to feel? Glad? Okay, I liked him but… Wow… I never thought James Potter actually felt this way.
“I thought you’d like it better this way,” the usual smug grin was on James face.
I laughed, “Maybe.”
“Come off it, Lily,” James chuckled as we stepped into the empty common room. “Sirius and Remus told me everything and you’ve blubbered out the whole truth, there’s no need to lie to each other anymore.” I raised my eyebrows at the last comment and looked at him. To my surprise, his hazel eyes were staring back. I couldn’t help noticing that they were unusually soft but I could see passion smoldering behind them. I caught my breath as he chuckled softly, “Don’t worry, Lily pad. I won’t date you just yet, I still want to enjoy some of this newfound freedom.”
I had no idea how to respond to him. I couldn’t quite put a finger on how I was even supposed to react. Well, I was a bit disappointed but I guess I could wait…for James.
“Alright, Evans?” James laughed quietly again. “Good night.” With a flurry of scarlet Quidditch robes, he made his way up the stairs to his dorm and left me in the common room.
I shook my head as I finally sank into my four-poster bed in my dorm, musing about what I had said to Lily. Was it appropriate? We both really liked each other now but… I had just broke up with Carly exactly two weeks ago, whenever I saw her, the tension in the air was still very, very uncomfortable. And Lily would sort of cringe whenever she was mentioned. I’ll get to Lily next year, I vowed to myself. By that time, Carly would’ve forgotten all about us. I winced as I thought of Carly again. It stirred up the memory when we broke up…
“Hey, James,” Carly smiled as she walked with him to the Great Hall for dinner. “I hope there’s pudding tonight.”
James swallowed. Carly was being so nice to him when he was clearly liking another girl, he had to spit it out. “Um, Carly? Can I talk to you for a sec?”
“Hm? What’s up, James?” They stopped walking and Carly was looking a bit concerned.
James took a deep breath, “Look. I’m starting to think this isn’t working out. You and I.”
“It’s about Lily Evans, isn’t it?” she said quietly. James’ insides twisted, she had hit the sore nail spot on.
“Carly, you’re a really great person but I’ve realized I was just kidding myself,” James choked out the words. He had to say this to her before anyone’s heart got crushed again. “I was only dating you because I believed that you were the closest I could get to Lily.”
James could see Carly’s tears in her eyes, “I-i-it’s okay, James. I’ve seen you with her, I completely understand.” But she didn’t sound fine at all.
“So… Good luck with her,” Carly held out her trembling hand. It was clear that she was quite unwilling.
“Carly, you don’t have to do this,” James whispered, surprised by her.
She shook her head, “I hate drama and messy breakups. I just want to get this over with, James.” Slowly, James shook her hand, “Good luck to you too.”
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